Your self esteem is the very essence of your true identity and capabilities, it is who you are as a person and how you feel about yourself.
It is also everything that you have come to believe and accept about yourself and who you are and how you regard yourself internally.
If you want to feel naturally confident, then you need to have a good solid and healthy level of self esteem.
Many people try to fake their confidence until they make it, but that does not really work and it is hard going.
Because if you don't really believe at a deep and influential level that you're confident and good enough, then confidence won't come naturally as it should do.
True confidence is an outer reflection of inner confidence, where you like yourself and you respect yourself for who you are and the way you are.
Your self esteem is the foundation and the formula for a successful and happy life, it consists of your belief systems and the self image you hold about you.
You or the opinion of others will create your beliefs about who you think you are and what you think that you're capable of.
What you come to believe about you and your abilities will either make you or break you.
The benchmark for your self esteem is set at a very early age, as young children, we a very susceptible and receptive to what others say.
Your level of self esteem is set by how you have reacted to your previous experiences, both successes and failures, however it is not fixed and it can be changed.
Your self-image is neither true nor false, but it is true to you, it is what you have become based on how you view yourself at this present moment of time.
Your self image is formed on how you gauge yourself and it is a reflection of your own personal beliefs and inner self talk, or the opinion and behaviors of others.
Your self esteem level is totally set by and dependent on whether your opinion of yourself is positive or negative.
Your level of self esteem is set by how you have reacted to and how you have handled previous experiences, both successes and failures however it is not fixed and it can be changed.
Your self-image is neither true nor false, but it is true to you, it is what you have become based on how you view yourself at this present moment of time.
Your self image is formed on how you gauge yourself and it is a reflection of your own personal beliefs and inner self talk.
You're good enough, you always have been and you always will be, because creation made you, creation made you
The belief that you're not good enough or worthy enough, is a belief and not a true fact and all beliefs can be changed.
The root source of many people's self esteem is, they believe or they have been told they are not good enough, equal enough or not worthy enough or they feel that they are not wanted or loved.
The belief that for some reason you're not worthy or good enough is the single biggest misjudgment and lie that you could ever possibly make about yourself.
Feeling that you're not good enough, not equal enough or you're not worthy enough is a recipe for disaster and it will sabotage your life in many ways.
You cannot reach your true potential and live your best possible life, if deep down you believe that you're not good enough, deserving enough or smart enough.
Marisa Peer's, who is one of the worlds leading therapists who has worked with many A list Hollywood celebrities and high achievers.
Has identified from working with many clients, that most of their troubles stem from the underlying belief that they feel they are not good enough.
What she advises her clients is, to tell themselves that they are enough or they are good enough, or she will advise them to write on a mirror in lipstick.
"I am enough"
Marisa suggest to tell yourself that you are enough ten times, first thing in the morning and ten times before you go to bed, then do it at varying periods throughout your day.
Then keep saying it for at least a month or until you feel that you're worth it and you're good enough, because it is your opinion of yourself that counts and not the opinion of others.
Because whether you are good enough or not, smart enough or not or worthy enough or not, boils down to one thing, what you tell yourself.
You have a choice which option you want to follow, you can either take the positive suggestions and statements.
Which will increase your self esteem and lead you on to a more successful and happier life.
Or you can take the negative option which will bring you down and keep you small and stuck.
Why you should increase your low self esteem
Why should you improve your self esteem?
Because, you can have it all, including
- Creating more wealth, promotion or getting a better job
- Better health and feelings of well-being
- Better body
- Overcome problems and master challenges
- Better relationships
- More confidence
A healthy self-esteem is the foundation for a successful life, it is the number one factor to a happier life, you will struggle to achieve good things with low self esteem.
In fact, it affects nearly all aspects of our lives, it can determine what we can achieve, how good we feel, our confidence levels, how well we get on with people including attracting a soul mate.
Self-esteem levels can affect your personality, dictate how you perform and how well you come across socially, it also has a profound effect in your job successes and the standards you reach.
A good and healthy level of self-esteem can be the difference between success and failure and it has a significant impact on our career achievements, wealth and personal goals.
Most people are unaware that low self esteem is the underlying root cause of many fears, especially career, relationships and social related issues.
Many fears are also a result of not feeling good enough, inadequate or worthy enough.
Those with higher levels of self-esteem look forward to the day and the challenges that lie ahead of them.
They have a stronger desire to learn and try new things, they admit to making mistakes and learn from them.
They will try and look for ways in which they can improve things, rather than dwelling on when thing's don't always go so well, they don't take criticism too seriously and they don't take life too seriously either.
When you develop a sense of your own self-worth, you start to value yourself and you begin to see yourself as a worthwhile and special person who deserves all that is good in life.
When you do this, then your life and attitude will begin to change and you will start to turn those lows into highs.
The root source of much of your low self esteem usually lies a fear or feelings of insecurities so you will need to work on your fears and anxiety.
Only use positive self talk
Your inner self talk is critical if you want to increase your self esteem, so are you sabotaging your success and confidence with what you're thinking and the words you're speaking.
The things you think and the words you use to define yourself and your abilities will hold a lot of power for programming your subconscious mind.
And as your subconscious mind controls most of your thoughts, actions and
Do you find yourself using phrases and statements like
- I don’t think I can
- I can't do that
- I am not very good at
- I wish I could
- It's not me
- I am
- This is just the way I am
- I have already tried and failed
- I’m not good enough
- I don’t have time
And the list continues. If any of these statements sound familiar, then
From now on, anytime you notice yourself thinking or saying negative statements step in and change and replace them with new supporting and positive phrases like,
- I can do that
- I can learn to do that
- I am getting better at
- I'll give it a go
- I know I can
- I am getting better at
- I am a worthy person
- I am more than capable
Your words and thoughts are powerful and your subconscious mind believes everything that you tell it and it will act upon any statements you make about yourself both positive or negative.
So get into the habit of only saying positive things to yourself or others about yourself.
If you have gotten into a habit of criticizing yourself or putting yourself down, then you need to stop it immediately.
Then from now on, start to program your mind with only positive beliefs and suggestions about you and your life.
Any negative statements you say about yourself will turn into negative beliefs about you and they will continue to hold you back and make you feel bad.
Your new policy should be to make it a new habit to focus your mind in a positive direction.
Any time you notice your internal mind needlessly criticizing you or putting you down in any way change it and replace it with positive and constructive statements about yourself.
Change your self image
Your self image determines how you think, how you feel, what you do and how you act and behave so to increase your self esteem you will need to change your self image.
Your self image is how you view yourself and the perceptions you have of yourself and your self worth and how you value yourself as a person and how you fit in your society.
Your self image will have a massive impact on your whole life and it will determine your
- Confidence levels
- Your general baseline happiness level
- How you think and feel about yourself
- Your achievements and successes and the results you get in life
- It also plays a role in how you react and behave socially
- What you think you're capable of
- How well you do things
- It can determine your comfort zone
- It can even have a bearing on your body size
To change your self image you need to start seeing and visualize yourself as being, behaving and acting as you desire to be.
You need to have a clear vision of who and what you want to become in the future whilst at the same time fully accepting yourself.
If you can picture what you want in your mind, then that means you're capable of doing it, achieving it or becoming it and you are capable of great things.
But to take it a step further you have to believe you can achieve it or do it and therefore you will.
When you start to change your perception of yourself and how you see yourself, then over time you and your life will start to change for the better, you posses the same capabilities and talents as successful and confident people do.
You just need to begin to first be aware of your true potential and then you need to start tapping into your limitless talents and your hidden potential that is lying dormant inside of you.
Why we sometimes have a poor self image of ourselves is down to our past experiences, how we have handled past situations or if we have bought into the beliefs of negative and hurtful comments and remarks said to us by other people.
Once we buy into and accept other people's beliefs or judgement's, we can then begin to take on that negative characteristics and even worst,
But these beliefs are not your own, so you should not have to conform to them or have your life dictated and controlled by them.
Start to shape your own destiny, characteristics and who you wish to be instead of allowing others to do it.
Learn to love and like yourself
To boost your self esteem you have to start to like and love yourself completely, it will also help you greatly if you say nice things about yourself.
A good way to achieve this is to stand in front of a mirror, look yourself deeply in the eyes and tell yourself "you love or like yourself".
Also, whilst you're still in front of the mirror, pay yourself some complements and self praise.
Tell yourself on a regular basis how great you are, how special you are, how wonderful you are, how beautiful you are and so on and notice how your energy shifts.
This is not being arrogant and you can tell it to yourself whilst you're alone, it is just a way of boosting your self esteem and setting the seeds to a happier and better you and life.
If you struggle to find something good to say about you dig deep and persevere, it does not matter if you make it up so long as your saying positive and nice things about yourself.
Or you can write out a list of all your qualities on a piece of paper, on this you can put anything positive down about yourself, like you're a good writer, painter, you're a nice or kind person etc.
The purpose of this is to change the way you think about yourself and to change your energy, and when you start to love and appreciate yourself others will treat and respect you more.
Also break the habit of criticizing and being hard on yourself and praise yourself up for everything you do well no matter how small.
When you develop a strong self belief in yourself and a positive inner you then you will begin to become more resilient and you will reach a point where nothing anybody can say will hurt you again.
Imagine you have an invisible bubble or cloak surrounding you and no hurtful remarks or comments can penetrate through it.
Because people can only hurt you with their nasty suggestions if you believe what they're saying is true and you let it in.
If you believe you're worthless and not good enough, this will reflect how you come across and perform socially and if you have little love and respect for yourself no one will love or respect you back.
But the more you begin to like and be proud of yourself and you should be proud of who you are, the more love and respect you will get back from others.
Just be more aware of who you are, because you're special and worthy and equal to anybody, when you were a baby you were exactly the same as everybody else.
But somehow along the journey through your life you have picked up and bought into some negative beliefs about yourself.
But you were made by creation and creation never, ever gets it wrong, the only people who get it wrong are those who have said nasty or negative comments about you.
So appreciate the wonderful and potential talented person you are and can be, then move forward in a positive direction.
Never dwell upon your mistakes or failures, admit you made a mistake, but then learn something positive from it.
Focus on your strengths and achievements, start to acknowledge every achievement or success no matter how small and be proud of yourself, keep telling yourself repeatedly that you like yourself.
You will not begin to increase your self esteem until you begin to like yourself, faults included, and when you learn to love, like, approve and respect yourself then you will open yourself up to be respected and liked by others.
Most people pick something negative about themselves or their life, then they give all their undivided attention to it.
But you're already good at many things so only focus on all the good things about you and your life.
When you speak about yourself to others only say good and positive things about yourself, this doesn't mean bragging about yourself.
Get out of the habit of pulling yourself down. When you love yourself, then you will start to take no notice of any outside criticism.
Believe and become
Do you believe in yourself, if you have low self esteem and a
It is really important that you start to believe in yourself as it can have a big impact in your future performances.
This means the way you think about yourself and your abilities in relationship to the things you do, can have a big impact on how well you manage and take on challenges or even if you take on new challenges at all.
Many people use affirmations to try and boost their self esteem and confidence and although affirmations can be a powerful way to change, you will struggle to benefit from them if you're coming from a negative and fearful state.
Before you start to use positive affirmations it is best to focus on changing your energy first and a good way to do this is to look for evidence to show you're already good and confident at some things already.
Start to focus on and search for everything you have done well at in the past or the present and keep affirming to yourself and letting yourself know how good you are at these things.
If you look hard enough, you will begin to find things or occasions where you performed well, did well or things you're just good at and then keep on reminding yourself how good you are at or how well you did.
To be confident you first need to feel confident because confidence is a feeling of being present in the now, this means learning how to let go of anxious or negative thoughts and then only focusing on general feel good thoughts or positive thoughts.
Most people hold destructive beliefs that they are not even aware of or know they have them, if you notice any limiting beliefs or negative statements.
Challenge them and change, ask yourself are they just beliefs or actual facts that cannot be
Those who suffer from low self tend to wish they were like somebody else or they even try to be somebody else, some even think there is something wrong with them and they are somehow not good enough.
But you should not want to be like anybody else because your already unique and special in many ways, when you keep wishing to be like somebody else what you're really doing is saying you're not good enough or you disapprove of yourself.
Another thing that can lower your self esteem is when you compare yourself to others, also avoid being jealous or envious of what others have got that you have not got or you
It's fine to be inspired and motivated by others, but try not to feel inadequate to how some people look, behave or how successful they are. Just appreciate what you have and work on having more if that's what you want.
You do not need to pretend to be something you're not and the real truth is, there is nothing wrong with you that needs fixing either.
You may benefit from learning some new social and life skills, you may have some fears, challenges and insecurities face and overcome, but to think you're not good enough is an outright lie.
Sometime you may need to dig deep and explore to try and find what is the real root source of your low self esteem, work on your insecurities and try to find the positives in yourself.
Because once you start to change your energy you will be able to challenge and change those negative beliefs that you have bought into because they are lies and they don't belong to you.
If someone has told you things like your worthless or stupid, reject and dismiss them and start to re-define yourself as you want to be.
When you continually knock or run yourself down it will keep you stuck in a negative energy, so be yourself and do anything and everything you can to make yourself feel better and start to feel good about yourself.
Focus on your strengths
People who have a low self worth tend to only focus on the negative, then they blow it totally out of proportion, yet if they would put the same amount of effort into focusing on all the good about themselves and their lives then they would have little trouble with their self esteem.
Most people are their own worst enemies, so if you want to increase your self esteem start to ditch all the negativity and focus on your strengths and develop then either further.
Find your true passion or purpose in life and pursue it because everybody has a talent or talents and who knows you may even be able to make some extra income out of your skills or knowledge.
Sometimes helping others can help you to feel good so try and be kind and helpful to others, but most importantly to be kind and true to yourself.
There is no such thing as failure
One of the biggest culprits for lowering your self esteem is to dwell on your past mistakes because when you make a mistake or you have been embarrassed and then if you allow it to bother you then you will develop a of fear making the same mistakes again and again.
Sometimes people tend to beat themselves up endlessly because of what happened to them in their past which can lower their confidence and self esteem levels even more.
One bad or negative experience can cause a bad emotional memory which can diminish the whole quality of your life if you allow it to.
Try not to let one experience or mistake to spread over into other area's of your life because one small negative a seed can grow and expand into a big a tree of pain.
You must not allow your setbacks, mistakes or what you perceive to be your failures too have a negative and damaging impact on their future.
See each failure and setback as an opportunity for you to grow and do things better in the future.
Often people will dwell on and endlessly analyze all their mistakes and missed opportunities wishing and thinking that they could have or should have done things better.
They will often ponder on "how they would have done things differently".
But what's done is done, so learn to let it go because you do not have to allow your past to cause you grief now.
There was no need for all the worry and fear because whatever happened you were OK and you came through it and you are safe and well now.
So you should stop allowing your past to harm you now or hold you back in the future.
The truth is there are no failures in life, all your mistakes and setbacks are just lessons to be learned so you can grow and improve and you should learn to take something from every failure to make you a better person.
You can only feel emotional pain when you're thinking about something negative or telling yourself something negative, so just think the opposite to what makes you feel bad.
You always have an alternative choice
People who have low self esteem are often at the victim stage in their lives, they have become the victims of the past bad experiences, and they have bought into the comments of the people who have been mean, negative or critical to them
These negative experiences and the negative beliefs that they have created from them are controlling their thoughts, actions and
They tend to believe that life happens to them rather than them, creating the life and person they want to be from within themselves, by working from the inside to the out.
You decide and determine how you wish people to perceive you, because life is all about creating a balance in the mind and body.
One of the most powerful words that you have available to you is the words "choose or
But it is only you who can make your own choices because it is you who has all the power to choose, where you're heading in life, how you want to feel and who and what you decide to become.
Some examples of choices are
- You can choose to be happy or sad
- You can choose to change your beliefs or you can keep the same old damaging and untruthful negative ones
- You can imagine being more successful and confident or you can think of yourself as not being very confident or successful
- You can choose to read and learn or you can watch more TV
- You can choose to get fit or live a more sedentary life
- You can choose to believe in yourself or you can carry on getting the same results
- You have a choice whether you want to take action to build your self esteem or not build it
- You can learn to be more extrovert or remain shy
- You can choose to be more positive or you can be negative
- You can start your own business or have a second income or you can stick with what you have got
- You can be glad that you have the choice to live a great life or you can obsess about what you don't want
Reprogram your mind
To increase your self esteem you have to be disciplined and you will need to take daily action steps.
You will also need to be more mindful too how your thoughts and your emotions work in conjunction with your body which are a whole, therefore they all need to be working together in harmony, peace and inner balance.
Most people just wake up each morning and they immediately fall straight into the same old repetitive negative traps each day.
If you want to break free of the negative cycle, you first need to know why and what's causing you to feel and behave the way you do.
To quickly explain it, the words you think and say affects your emotional and physical state, but as this is a two way thing your physical body also affects your emotions and thought processes.
So all you need to do is to bring your mind and body back into balance and inner calm which will switch your body back to a relaxed feel good state energy and when you achieve this natural high on a consistent basis you will find everything will start to improve and work out well for you.
The first step you need to take is to fully love and accept yourself, because if you're not in alignment with you you are then your going to cause
The second step is to appreciate yourself and all the good things you have got instead of only focusing on the things you don't yet have or giving all your attention to the negative side of things.
It's fine to want to have more, but you have first have to accept what is, be happy with what you have got at the moment and who you are because that's the foundation to consistent happiness and success.
If you keep allowing your current results or you carry on allowing things that have happened or things that have been said to you in the past to control how you think and feel then you're never going to move forward.
Happiness is all about being grateful and being at peace with yourself and with your world.
To change you have to take total control of your thoughts, feelings and your life and the best time to do that is first thing in the morning and you need to make this a daily practice.
If you're suffering with low self esteem than you probably wake up each morning and immediately start to think negative thoughts of stress, dread, anxiety and doom and gloom.
These negative and stressful thinking patterns will no doubt be your main focus of thinking throughout your whole day.
When you do this on a day to day basis you are mentally and physically conditioning yourself to feel afraid and to feel bad and it soon becomes a habit and a way of life.
If this is the case for you then you are actually training yourself to feel anxious, stressed and depressed.
And every time you think a negative or stressful thought you go more over to a negative protective mode where your minds main objective will be to watch out for more problems or dangers.
There is no gain to be had
You have to accept what you cannot change and work on improving the things you can and these days there are lots of help and programs available that can help you improve on most issues.
Everybody can work on improving their bodies.
To break the negative cycle, you have to change your energy and state back to calm and positive and to achieve it you need to calm your mind and relax your body.
Meditation is one of the best ways to start to change your state and then being mindful throughout your day by observing your mind and only follow or think positive or neutral feeling thoughts.
So at the start of each morning set yourself up for the day ahead, spend ten to fifteen minutes each morning mediating and learning to observe your mind whilst allowing any negative thoughts to come and go.
Just practice focusing on your breathing and take slow, deep breaths making sure the out breath is longer than the inside.
This is not an exercise to try and stop your negative thoughts, it's more about learning to let them come and go.
People spend large parts of their life trying to deal with or get rid of their anxious or unwanted thoughts.
But all that does is stir up more emotional arousal and inner conflict, when all you have to do is, leave your mind alone so it can think the thoughts whilst at the same time you don't think them.
Because if you just accept these unwanted thoughts as just fleeting thoughts and you leave your mind alone, then your mind after the initial emotional arousal will quickly settle down by itself.
Instead of fighting with your thoughts, train your body to respond calmly around your fearful and stressful thoughts and then redirect your mind to replace negative and depressive thoughts to ones of optimism and hope.
Every time the negative and fearful thoughts start to cause emotional arousal to just return back to focusing on your breathing.
Then you can imagine your whole day going great and at the end of your session, let yourself know "this is going to be the best day of my life".
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