How To Rescue And Save Your
Enjoy All The Positive Benefits That A Loving Relationship Can Bring You
There are two articles on this page designed to help you save your relationship, help you make you relationship even better than before and to also help you to feel better, calmer and less stressed.
A happy and positive relationship can provided you with all your emotional needs as well as helping you to live a better and even possibly, live longer.
Therefore it is incredibly important for you attempt to sort out any relationship problems that you may be currently having so you can begin to enjoy all the positive benefits that a healthy and loving relationship can provide you.
Because a good, healthy relationship can set you up for a happier, healthier and more enjoyable life experience, it can also increases your chances of becoming more successful as well and improve nearly all areas of your life.
Relationships matter and your wellness, psychological mindset and emotional well being can largely depend a lot on you having a great and stress free relationship.
Of course not all relationships can be saved, but with a bit of work, a level head and mutual commitment, most of them can.
If your having relationship doubts, difficulties or uncertainties. You may already be considering your options and you might have already been planning for your future, with or without your partner.
As relationships are such a major and important part of our lives and as they also provided us with companionship, a way of life and financial security, a roof over our heads as well as all the other health and well-being benefits.
If you're thinking that the best option for you is to ending your relationship. Before you consider whether to commit to change or starting a new life for yourself, especially if there are children involved.
Every effort possible should be done to try and save your relationship and ideally, make it even better than it was or has been of late.
Because relationship breakups hurt and they can complete transform your life, sometimes for the better but sometimes for the worst.
In many cases people only hurt each others, because they are feeling hurt, unhappy or dissatisfied, themselves.
If you have spent years building your home and family life or if you're in a good relationship, that may be experiencing a few hiccups.
Then before you consider dissolving your relationship. The first step and maybe the better and often easier option.
Might be to try and deal with, fix and resolve your current relationship.
Try not to make any hasty or rushed decisions that are emotional reactions to how you're currently thinking, being treated and feeling.
Take things slowly, have a cooling off period. Because a clear head and a calm energy is needed, before you both make any rash decision, that you may later regret.
Our emotions and physical state drives our thoughts, actions and behaviors.
This is why, things can never have a chance of getting better, if one or both of you are in the negative mindset and feelings that is contributing to your relationship problems.
Depending on the circumstances and how you are being treated.
Sometimes you have to forgive and forget and let go what is currently bothering you or how your partner has treated you.
Because although things may be bad on the outside you don't want to mess yourself up on the inside.
If you really want to save your relationship. You want to make sure you don't take those problems inside and let them fester and eat you up.
Obsessing and worrying about your relationships, is not going to resolve anything. In fact it will no doubt make your relationship problems much worse.
Your partner cannot not make you happy until you're happy and you are at peace with yourself.
If you live in your head you and your relationship is going to suffer.
Very often, once you learn to let go, stop fighting, stop blaming and stop resisting as well as stop caring and stop worrying so much. You relationship will start to get better by itself.
If both of you are not to sure whether you want to split. Then this suggests that there is a deeper part of you that knows that it is in both your interests to try and save your relationship.
Listen to you gut intuition, rather than making a decision, that is a immediate reaction to your current mindset or how you're feeling at the moment.
Any doubts that you have about ending your relationship can be a wiser part of you telling you that it might not be the best option.
Positive reasons for rescuing your relationships
If you have decided that you want to save your relationship and you're committed to making it work this time. Then why not go all the way and try and make it as great and fun as you possibly can.
Because, don't you long to turn back the clock and return to how good things were, in those early days of your relationship.
Isn't it better to have a loving and healthy relationship where you both look forwards to seeing each other and you both enjoy each others company, which would give you peace of mind and a loving and positive energy?
A happy and blissful relationship does not usually happen by accident. Couples who enjoy each others company, get on great and have a lifetime blissful and happy relationship, usually do things very different to those who don't.
Having a loving, peaceful and blissful relationship incredibly important to you and it is the foundation for good health and well-being and the recipe for a happy and fulfilling wonderful lifetime and enjoyable experience.
Because all those positive emotions, like joy, happiness, love, inner peace and contentment which a stable, happy and loving relationship can provide you.
Can positively affect your health, your energy, your social life your energy levels, your well-being, your quality of sleep and just about everything else.
When a relationship is good and all your emotional needs are being met. Life is good, you feel good and this can do wonders for you, your career and your success.
Not all relationships can saved, nor should they, especially if you are being wronged, abused or mistreated.
The good news is. Most of them can, even if you feel you have reached the point where your relationship feels hopelessly doomed.
All relationships go through bad, tough and difficult times. What is really important is, how quickly you resolve your relationship problems and how much you both learn from your mistakes.
Relationships are one of our basic human emotional needs and when our relationships as going well, we feel better and our life is better. So, the sooner you resolve things, the better it will be for you.
When things are going well. Relationships, provide us with so much love, security, fun, fulfillment, happiness, contentment, companionship, moral support and intimacy.
Therefore it is important not to throw away a good relationship until you have done everything that you possibly can to try and save it and make it even better than it was.
The most important thing of all, is whether or not you both still have feelings for each other.
Because as long as you both have the tiniest amount of feelings for each other, there is no reason why you relationship cannot be saved and even have a better relationship than before.
As long as you are both committed to making your relationship better and you both avoid making the same mistakes as before.
There are many other positive reasons why you should resolve your relationship issues as soon as possibly, which you might like to consider.
A study conducted in December 2028 had 43 healthy married couples discussing and resolving a conflict that they knew would have a high chance that it would provoke a strong argument or disagreement.
The sort of things they would heatedly discuss, were the typical relationship argumental topics like money issues.
After their disagreements. They all gave a blood sample which showed levels of LPS-binding protein. Which can can lead to digestive issues, such as leaky gut.
Leaky gut can trigger a chain reaction of health related, which may include
- Gas and bloating
- Food sensitivities
- Skin conditions
- Autoimmune issues
- Joint pain
- Weight gain
Those who argued the most recorded higher levels of LPS than those who remained calmer.
Relationship arguments and problems are not just bad for your relationship.
They also cause your anger and stress levels to rise. Which are going to drain the life out of you and they are bad for your health.
Which potentially, may cause other health issues, diminish the quality of your life and upset your emotional well-being.
Make your relationship as great as it was when you first met
In those early stages of your relationship, as far as you were concerned, nothing could ever possibly go wrong.
Your relationship thrived because you both made it thrive, because you wanted it to thrive.
Because of how amazing and fantastic you felt and because of the amazing, exciting and wonderful times that you had together.
It was all about the connection, attention, excitement, thrill, fun and pleasure and all the positive feelings and energy you felt, and that's what you want back the most now.
Your partner was always in your thoughts for all the right and positive reason and the energy that you felt towards each other was the positive emotions of love, happiness and joy.
At the beginning of your relationship. You probably couldn't get your partner out of your mind.
The chance were. When you were apart, you were always wondering what your partner was doing in a good way.
What are the thoughts and emotions that you are having and feeling about your partner now and where has the love gone?
The chances are they are more of the negative thoughts and emotions like, fear, anger, frustration, insecurity or sadness.
During those blissful early days. You would both make an effort to look good and to be your best. Neither of you would dare to criticize or pick faults with each other.
You would show the best side of you. Because you wanted to impress each other and make each other feel special, as if you are the only one in the world in each others eyes.
Do you both still make a real big effort to impress each other?
Back then you could see no wrong and life in general was just wonderful, such a joy to live. Everyday you woke up with a smile on your face and not a care in the world and as far as you could see, only good times lay ahead.
All those romantic night's spent with each other all those walks in park, hand in hand together. Can you recall, the first time you kissed and embraced each other.
You just didn't want the night to end. If only you could make time stand still, so you could capture the intimacy and those amazing moment and make them last forever.
Rekindle the love, excitement and happiness
Do you still do the things that you did when you first met?
If not, why not do at least one thing a week which you did when you were first dating.
Because, if the things you used to do were so wonderful and they made you both feel so great and happy to be alive.
Why stop doing them?
Because. There is no reason why you cannot return to the good old days. If you're both fully committed. Times change, but you relationship doesn't have to.
When the attention, fun, love and respect gets taken away. Then this is when people look for these things elsewhere.
If you can just stop all the niggling between you and end all the annoying habits things would start to get better.
And if you can stop trying to play the blame game or stop trying to score points or trying to get one over each other.
This will ease the tension between you both and it will create a better energy that you can start to build upon.
Just remember the reasons you both got together in the first place and how well you treated each other.
If you both truly want too. Then there is no reason whatsoever. Why you cannot rekindle the passion and even make your relationship better than it has ever been.
Because if deep down you really want to save your relationship. This suggest that they love and feelings are still there even if they have been suppressed or overshadowed by current events or what is happening at the moment.
Sometimes people argue over the most small, trivial and silly things.
And it is usually these small, petty and stupid things that 100% irrelevant to your relationship that get a negative reaction that cause the most damage in a relationship.
You know the kind of things that you know are going to irritate, get a reaction or cause tension and once it has been said or done, it cannot be taken back.
And the more you attempt to put it right the deeper you dig yourself into a hole. Prevention is always better than a cure.
At times, you have got to stop and take a momentary pause and ask yourself. Is it worth it, is it going to cause an argument is it something that really needs to be debated or said.
When maybe the better option would be to let it go or at least only discuss things when the energy is right.
Think to yourself, would either of you have said or acted this way when you first met. The chances are you wouldn't because you cared to much about pleasing your partner and that is a good policy to stick to.
Sometimes people speak and react with their emotions. If you can create the right calm and loving energy then there is no reason why you cannot return back to somewhere close to how it was when you first met each other.
If you're going to save your relationship you have to ask yourself.
At what point did it all go wrong and why? And why has your lover, seemingly turned into your rival and what is your plan of action to save your relationship and make it like it was when you first met, or why not go for even better?
Once you have come up with the solutions and strategies. It is time to put that plan into action.
Because you don't want to look back with regret one day. Knowing that you could have saved your relationship.
A healthy relationship is built on good calm, loving and positive energy
Before, you can move forwards in the right direction and there is no reason why you cannot re-spark the passion, closeness, intimacy and love back into your flagging relationship.
You have to create a peaceful and calm atmosphere and environment.
Everything is all about your perceptions, feelings and emotions. When two people are coming from a tense, stressful and negative energy. You are both going to clash and push against each other.
This causes resentment and you will both start to drift of in opposite directions and you will only see the bad in each other.
When you think about it. Nobody wants to be around somebody who treats them bad or if they are in a bad or stressful mood all the time.
Neither of you behaved like this when you first met. In fact, you were both the exact opposite, and your partner was the most important person in your life and vice versa.
You could only see the good in each other, you wanted to be together all the time because it made you both feel good and you treated each other with a mutual respect and a desire to make each other happy.
You can return to those good old days if you both treat each other like you did when you first met.
Once you both just announce a cease fire between you. You both calm down and quit blaming each other, complaining and picking faults with each other.
Where you both make a conscious effort and commitment to work things out, and the reason you need to be doing it is, because you want to do it.
Then with a bit of commitment and learning from your previous mistakes. Because unless you both learn from where you have been going wrong, nothing will ever change, and you both have to mean it and stick to it.
Then, you can reignite the passion, and you can bring back all the love and that deep meaningful connection and intimacy, that you once had.
Another good reason to make your relationship good. Research has discovered. That those who have a happy and fulfilled relationship, on average tend to live longer.
Sometimes it can be more of the case of getting the small and important things right on a consistent and daily basis rather than making the grand romantic gesture every once and while.
Where you respect each other and their emotional and physical needs and you never again argue ferociously with each other.
A loving relationship built on trust and mutual respect. Where you both look forwards to and appreciate each other's company and things become as joyful, exciting and fulfilling as it was, when you both first met each other.
A relationship changes and evolves over time
As a relationship progresses, circumstances and people change over time, and sometimes you have to accept and adapt, as your partner changes.
It is also important to understand that your partner will have their own challenges, problems and issues to deal with and overcome.
This means, there will be times, when they may not give you all the love and attention you desire.
Often it is all too easy to put all the blame for your troubled patch on your partner. And although, sometimes our partners can be at fault.
In many cases, our relationship problems coincide with our own feelings, problems and insecurities.
If you do not love yourself and if you are a negative person, you will project a negative energy, which is not going to be very attractive to your partner.
The number one rule for a happy relationship, is to have a good relationship with you and the same applies to your partner.
Because when two people are in a calm and positive energy. Then this is the perfect recipe for a happy and loving relationship and the ingredient for a successful life.
This is often demonstrated when you first meet, where all those positive feelings of love and happiness, make a relationship flow easily, naturally and effortlessly.
Even though, it is hard to sustain the levels of passion and romance you experience in the early stages of your relationship.
This does not mean that once the honey period is over, you can neglect you or your partner and it is vital to pay them attention and listen to their troubles and needs.
Discover The Secret That Can Save Your Relationship By Making Your Partner Love And Desire You More Than Ever
If you're looking for a bit of help to save your relationship and make it amazing and as good as when you first met or even better.
Fitness and relationship expert Brian Flatt will share with you a secret mind trick that triggers lust and floods your loved one's with emotions.
Emotions so strong, it's going to feel to them as though a floodgate has opened!
This means no more doubts... fear... or feeling unloved or a failure that you can't make anyone love you anymore.
This little trick is going to switch them from disinterested to ravenously desiring you in a way that is going to drive you wild and make all your friends jealous!
This has changed the lives of couples the world over, couples who were living in fear that the love had died out and didn't know what to do or say to make it better.
According to Brian, in a very short time, using this secret mind trick, he is delighted to say that they are more in love and lust with you, than ever before!
This is going to make your soulmate desperate to show you the love you really desire. Just imagine how great that is going to feel and be!
Brian's Respark The Romance Program, secret mind trick teaches you how to trigger lust and floods your loved one's with emotions, that are so powerful, it can trigger the love that you desire.
All those, self doubts, fears, worries and insecurities or those feelings, of feeling unloved, will soon start to fade away, as the love and passions, starts to blossom, once again.
Meaning. you’ll never need to worry again about him pulling away, neglecting you, growing cold on you, acting a bit distant or have him being “afraid” of commitment.
18 Tips To Help You Save And Improve Your Relationship
1) Respect your partner
One of the major reasons for why couples think about ending their relationship is because they say that they feel as if their partners do not respect them anymore.
Many people who are on the verge of a relationship breakup, also feel that when they feel like their partners no longer respect them. It chips away at their self esteem and self worth.
People who have a healthy and loving relationship. Respect, love, value and support their partners. They also recognize the importance of their partner's independence and the need to pursue their own interests.
A good relationship requires honesty, trust and respect, which should involve, talking freely and openly to each other, and making joint decisions together.
Showing some respect to your partner, with both words and actions, can do wonders to your relationship, but also respect yourself and ask to be respected back. Have your own input, opinions
Keeping a healthy relationship, requires the understanding, that your partners is not you, and you don't own them.
They have their own life and wants, and as long as they are not doing anything to hurt or harm you, then you should allow them, to do their own things at times.
It is both in your own interests to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to work around and include your needs with his or hers.
Encouraging your partners and supporting in their quest to achieve what he or she wants to achieve, can help to make your relationship stronger.
2) Try and avoid arguing and shouting
If you want a happy and loving relationship. Then it is best for the both of you that you tray do utmost best to try and avoid arguing or confrontations.
When you have strong emotions mixed up with relationship issues, disagreements or differences of opinions. Then it will push you head on in to a angry and relationship damaging confrontation.
Even if your thoughts and emotions are pushing you into a fight with your partner. Display a bit of emotionally intelligence.
Don't go rushing in guns blazing. Think about the consequence of your actions. Don't allow your ego or negative mind to get in your way.
A good approach is to calm yourself down first. The tone of your voice and how you say things can make all the difference between having a full blown out argument which is not use for either of you and it is bad for your health.
A bit of preparation, can pave the way to a sensible and constructive discussion instead of a heated debate.
"Prevention is better than cure"
If you're coming from a calm feeling place with a positive mental attitude, then the chances are your partner will respond favourably and agreeably.
Plus, it will give you a much better chance of resolving your difference and grievances in a calm, amicable and productive way that will help to improve and better your relationship.
When you're both coming from a calm energy, then anything can be fixed. If both of you are in a angry state, then this will only hurt you both and your relationship even more.
One exercise that you can try.
Before you discuss something.
Find somewhere quiet and imagine your partner sitting in front of you.
Then have an imaginary conversation with them, and imagine what you want to say, and how you would like to say it.
Go over you discussion and imagine things going exactly the way you want. Throw in a few challenges and see imagine yourself handling and reacting to your partners negative reactions in a calm and resourceful way.
We can easily miss-read a situation, especially if we have let our imagination run riot about what we think our partner has done wrong, don't always trust your imagination or you could be heading for trouble.
This one sided view is usually totally the opposite to what the other one said and really meant, but we don't listen to the rest once we have made our minds up.
So it pays to listen and not just make presumptions which are only based on what you have been looking for, always remember if you look for problems you usually find them even when there aren't any.
Making your partner feel unimportant, unloved or unworthy, is not healthy for your relationship or their self value and self esteem.
Persistent put-downs or trying to get one over with your partner or throwing unreasonable accusations are all forms emotional abuse, which will put a strain on your relationship.
3) Improve your relationship by reducing your own stress and anger
You may not think it is important. But how you think and feel about your partner and your emotional and physical state and your life in general, can have a massive impact on the quality of your relationship.
We all think and act with our emotions and it is very hard to save your relationship if you're in a stressful, negative or angry state.
Because when you're feeling overly stressed or tense, it can put you in a bad or negative mood. This can lead to tension and feelings of irritation, which can spill out into your relationship, in negative and damaging ways.
Your emotions think you, and when you're in a negative state, then you see and imagine the worse case scenario and you see the worst in your partner.
So if you're experiencing a lot of stress or negative emotions, then it can pay to find methods to relax, chill out and reduce your stress.
Thinking angry thoughts about your partner or focusing on everything going wrong, will not help to repair your relationship.
Sometimes you have to live and learn, forgive and forget, as well as knowing when to let go.
You will often find, that when you both calm down and you let go or accept your situation, and you take your focus off all your relationship problems and your partner.
Although you should respect and be kind to your partner and spend some quality time together.
The best way to improve your relationship on the outside, is to improve your relationship, with you on the inside and focus on being happy and at peace with you.
Because, when you only try to improve things in the material world, without you both addressing your own emotional problems and insecurities, then any improvements, might only be temporary.
Focus on you first, have some me time and do the things you enjoy. Very often you will find, when there is a calm energy, things will start to get better.
Because, positive energy brings about positive circumstances, and when you're both happy, calm and content, you will have the recipe for a successful relationship.
Whilst, stress, anger or tension can cause you to instantly react badly, at the very slightest thing causing you to say and do things that you later regret.
Not only can this make you a bad person to live with, it can also affect your partners mood and ways of thinking.
If the both of you are in a negative or bad mood at the same time. Then there is a high chance that it will lead to conflict between the two of you.
Stress and tension forces us to take action. If your stress or anger resolves around your relationship issues. Then the strong emotions, will push you into a fight or confrontation with your body.
Often one silly little thing, at a time when one or both of you are feeling a bit angry, frustrated or stressed, can escalate into a nasty full blown out argument.
4) Only talk, when you are both feeling calm
If you're not happy with the way your partner is acting or treating you. Make sure you calm yourself down before you voice your concern.
Then when you are calm and you have a clear head. Ask them in a non confrontational way, because a calm and positive approach will get always a better reaction than a negative one.
Try and avoid accusing them of things or jumping to conclusions. If you're feeling unhappy with the way they have been behaving or treating you.
In a calm manner, try and get them to justify their actions or try and get them to explain themselves. Ask them nicely to give a reason for how they are, or have been behaving.
You could start off by saying something like
I don't want to upset you, but there has been something that has been bothering me.
If it is you that has been doing something that has been upsetting your partner. Let him/her know the reasons why you're doing it.
Or apologize or let him know, you had no idea that it was upsetting him/her.
Explaining the reasons why you're doing what you're doing, can soothe your partners worrying or angry mind, and save many arguments.
Be careful asking too many intrusive questions, as that can make him/her think that you're interrogating them.
If you have been assuming that your partner doesn't care, and you have challenged them about this, and they have replied. By trying to reassure you that they do care.
Then normally, if they are trying to let you know that they do care. Then they probably do.
5) Don't let your ego, get in the way
You cannot always agree on everything. But you can learn to disagree without falling out and without yelling and screaming at each other.
One of the biggest causes of arguments and resentments is caused by, one of you always wanting to be right or have your own way.
Remember, you are two totally different people, with sometimes different idea's and points of view, so you need to consider your partners wants and opinions.
Trying to please our own ego and wanting to get our own way or wanting to be right all the time, is also one of the biggest causes of relationship conflicts.
Very little is achieved or gained through having blazing arguments or rows with each other. But, very often, there is a lot to lose.
What is the point in satisfying your ego, if it is damaging your relationship. Although you should have your own views, needs and opinions.
If you are both feeling a bit upset and angry. It is best that you avoid talking until you have both cooled down.
At times you feel angry, or in the heat of the moment, never try to
- Intentionally emotionally hurt or upset your partner
- Never try to seek revenge or get your own back
- Avoid dragging up the past or throwing things back into their face.
Every minute you're thinking angry thoughts or thoughts of revenge, you're damaging yourself and you run the risk of ruining your relationship.
This does not mean that you should shut up and allow your partner to treat you badly or take you for granted.
But, sometimes, you just have to learn to forgive and forget or to let things go.
6) Try to avoid conflict
One of the worse things that you can do is to rub your partner up the wrong way, with critical statements that cause conflict and bad feelings.
Try to avoid statements that you know will lead to an argument or conflict. If you're feeling unhappy or upset over something concerning your partner.
A few well chosen words, can help to get your own way, and avoid conflict.
Often when we want something to change in our relationship, we use negative statements to get our point across.
But that rarely helps us to get what we want, and it can result in exactly the opposite, or at best a forced change.
There are better ways of getting what you want, and it is always better to first try a positive approach.
So, instead of saying things that start with you never
"You never listen/talk to me anymore"
Re-frame it to something like,
"Wouldn't be nice to spend some time together and have a nice chat"
If you find yourself about to say something that starts with the word you're always
"You're always having a go at me"
Re-frame it to something like
"Life would be a lot easier if we got on better"
If you're unhappy, because your partner makes your home untidy
" I am fed up with you, always making the house untidy"
Re-frame it to something like
"Wouldn't it be nice, to have a clean and tidy house
If you keep complaining about your partner hardly ever takes you out and you say things like
" You never take me anywhere nice anymore"
"I would love to spend some nice days/evenings out together"
If you go rushing in with negative words like, never or always, then it will cause a bad reaction, and your partner will either clam up or it will end up in another argument.
But if you use positive words, then it should result in a better and more positive outcome.
7) Be prepared to listen to each other
It is important that you listen to your partner and you take their views, concerns, opinions and needs seriously.
Often when there is a growing or a festering problem in a relationship, the other party can overlook it or not take their partner seriously enough.
Some people can get a bit complacent. Often they will assume that once they're married or in a long term relationship, everything will always be fine.
When a partner voices a concern or they express that they're not happy at the moment over something, then it's easy to not listen to them or take them seriously enough.
Some think that their partner's problem or their relationship problem will go away or they are being silly or over reacting.
But what might seem trivial an unimportant to one person, might be a major problem to another.
When you get complacent or you're too busy or too occupied with something else to listen, then this can be a recipe for relationship problems, later down the line.
The same applies when you don't take the problem seriously, you ignore the problem and your partner or you don't accept that there is a problem that needs addressing.
One of the worse things that you can do, is failing to listen to a relationship problem, or you carry on doing the things that are upsetting or irritating your partner.
Listening and being considerate to your partner, can help to build you a better relationship, but very often, people leave it far too late, to put right.
One way to make your relationship work is. If your partner has a problem or a need, or if they let you know that they're not happy with you or they don't like what you are or are not doing.
Then you need to either stop doing it, pay attention, or work through and fix your problem.
Our ego, can destroy our relationship. None of us likes to think, were wrong, we have flaws or were at fault. But sometimes we have to take look at ourselves, instead of putting all the blame on our partners.
You should also listen to what they have to say and try and be interested in their everyday life.
Like their conversations, their hobbies or likes, and most importantly, listen and pay attention to them.
Because, it is far too easy to get engaged in what you're doing or watching on TV, instead of listening to what your partner has to say.
8) Pay some attention to yourself
If you decide your relationship is worth saving then the first thing you need to do is to take a look at yourself. Ask yourself, could you have done more to make your relationship better.
The golden rule is, if you do sort things out. You want to make sure you don't make the same mistakes again, otherwise you will end back up at square one.
The first step is to give your partner all the love and attention that they crave for, because a lack of attention is one of the biggest relationship destroyers.
This does not mean you should blame yourself. Just see what area's you could improve on, in your relationship.
You may need to spend some time working on yourself. If you have any relationship insecurities or your own personal insecurities. Then this can put a strain on you and your relationships.
It is also important to learn how to master your emotions and stop all the catastrophic or worse case scenario thinking patterns.
When you feel insecure then this can cause you to constantly seek reassurance, which is not a very attractive trait to have.
If you're feeling angry or stressed, then this can manifest itself out into relationship problems. When you're in a negative emotional state, you tend to only see the bad and you overlook the good.
A negative mindset and stressful state, can make you more confrontational and put you in a worse case scenario or get your own back mindset.
When you look for problems, you usually find them and you end up winding yourself up to the point where you just cannot help saying and doing the wrong things.
Take some time, learning to relax, and focus on doing more of the things you enjoy. Try not to think about all your relationship issues or worries.
When you feel calm and at peace. You, will both benefit.
Let go of your insecurities, and learn to love and like yourself because if you don't accept and love you, then how can you expect somebody to love you back.
Treat yourself well, like yourself and respect yourself, if you don't like yourself or treat yourself well then how can you expect others to treat you well.
If you wish to save your relationship, then be happy and love yourself unconditionally. Because, when you do, others will want to be around you more.
After the honeymoon period is over we are all a little bit guilty of falling into the complacency and taking each other for granted trap.
Have you been taking your partner for granted. Have you stopped paying them so much attention as you used to, do you spend a bit too much time, with your friends and families.
Have you stopped being spontaneous and become a little too predictable and set in your ways. Or, have you stopped appreciating your partner.
If so, try and be a bit more considerate and appreciative towards your partner, people like to feel appreciated.
Ask your partner what they like to do, try taking up new interests and activities together, try and introduce a bit more passion and sparkle in your relationship, an element of surprise every now and again can do wonders.
Having some mini breaks away can put the sparkle back into your life as can buying them some small presents and gifts from time to time.
Try to avoid pushing your partner into doing things that they don't want to do, what they don't enjoy and what they don't like doing. Just to try and make you feel happy.
10) Take good care of yourself
Even though in marriage vows, it states the phrase.
"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse"
Sadly, a big increase in weight gain, is listed in the top ten, reasons why couples get divorced or separated.
The reason for this is believed, that some partners, feel less physically attracted to their partner, if they have significantly put on a lot of weight.
A lot of weight gain, can also cause the individual to feel more self conscious and it can lead to self esteem issues, which can cause problems with intimacy.
For anybody who has gained weight, You should never feel forced into losing weight or doing anything that you don't want to do.
What you do, should be your decision, and you should avoid going on any crash unhealthy diets.
These days, the best ways to lose weight, are by introducing some healthy lifestyle changes, which should ideally include. Keeping fit, reducing your stress and eating a healthy, well balanced, and varied diet.
Portion control and keeping active, is generally all that is needed.
Although you cannot stop the aging process, you can slow it down, and keep yourself looking fit and attractive.
11) Has your relationship and life become more of a routine
Like everything else in life when you repeat doing the same things over and over again, then they can become a little bit dull and mundane.
Life should be exciting, varied and enjoyable. You have to bare in mind that you are going to be spending a large part of your life together so you need to keep that spark and magic alive.
It can be bad enough having to do a boring repetitive job, the last thing that you want is to allow your relationship to become routine and dull.
People tend to do the same things week in week out. Although there is nothing wrong with that, if you're both happy, sometimes we need to be more active and outgoing.
Even though you may be happy with the way things are. It does not necessarily mean that your partner is happy, they might just be going through the motions, to please you.
You could try and do different things from time to time, visit different places together, add a few pleasant unplanned surprises every now and again. Ask your partner what they would like to do.
Being a little bit more spontaneous and adventurous can do wonders to your relationship, if you want to keep your partner happy then you may need to break the normal habits and patterns of behaviors.
You don't have to both go to bed and wake up at the same time, and you have not got to stick to doing things in the same order and at the same time each day.
12) Avoid too much nagging, criticizing and complaining
Try not to be too overly critical about your partner as this can put a strain on your relationship. Even if you feel the need to criticize. Take a deep breath and hold back, then try a softer more subtle approach.
Because, constant negative criticism is one of the biggest causes of the demise of your relationship.
When you nag, complain, criticize or put your partner down all the time. Then it can leave them feeling as if they have to tread on egg shells or they just can't seem to do anything right.
Then they are also going to feel, unloved, diminished and not valued or appreciated.
Criticism and nagging comes from a negative state, and any form of negativity in a relationship is bad for the both of you.
When you react negatively to your partner all the time, then it is going to result in friction and conflict, which is going to damage your relationship.
This is not good for you or your partners emotional well-being and happiness. Eventually, it can lead to the possibility of the breakdown of your relationship.
If you are critical of your partner all the time. Then this can mean that you are spending too much time in a negative state yourself.
Ideally you should be making your partner feel valued and happy as well as working on making your relationship stronger, instead of destroying your relationship and your partners self worth.
Another common mistake people make, is wanting to be right or wanting to have their own way all the time.
This does not mean that you have to agree with your partner about everything. But there are better ways of going about things.
If you're criticizing your partner. Then this can suggest you are feeling discontented with your circumstances, or you want them to do something or change their ways.
Again, instead of being critical in the hope you will get what you want. Try to inspire him/her in a positive and encouraging manner or express your desires in a positive way.
As before you can use words like.
"I would really love it if............"
" I wish you would........."
By delivering what you want in a positive way. You avoid all the anger, hurt and resentment. And the more you do this, the better chance you will have of getting what you wish without and conflict.
This means you will be happy and your partner will feel happier, valued and loved.
If you find yourself being critical a lot. Then this could also be an indication, that your emotional needs and wants are not being met.
Maybe you feel disappointed with your partner and your relationship at the moment. If this is the case, then you both might need to work on seeing how you can make things better.
13) Do not try to change or control your partner
Are you or have you been unreasonable in your behaviors or demands,
If you or your partner are using dominant or physiological and emotional pressure to get your own way or to try and change them, control them or bring them around so they conform to your beliefs and idea's then that will never work.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is wanting everything your own way or assuming you are always right,
You are both individuals, your partner is not your property or toy to play with. Remember, they have feelings and wants.
It is fine to have discussions, but you cannot force your opinions or idea's onto your partner.
It is not wise to try and bring them round to your way of thinking all the time. Your job is not to try to control the other person or try to change him or her to go in a direction that you want, if it goes against their wishes.
Avoid trying to mold them into something that conforms to your beliefs or likes, your partner as committed a large part of their life to be with you so always be grateful and appreciative for that.
When you're out socializing, be careful not to ignore your partner or put them down to get a cheap laugh, treat them as your best friend as well as your lover.
Because relationships won't work if you are trying to control the actions of your partner, everybody see's things differently and thinks differently.
We are all individuals, showing respect, appreciation and being nice is by far the best option, because the more you give the more you will receive back from them.
14) Express Your Feelings
Sometimes it can pay to express your feelings and appreciation in the form of words and actions and it's not all about words.
Being kind and considerate and treating your partner with a day out or a few gifts can help to show you still care, try to put some sparkle back into your relationship.
Try switching your thinking of your relationship not working, because the more you focus on the bad things about your relationship the more you will be moving all your energy and attention onto breaking up.
If you can, try and focus on things improving, if you find that too hard just go general with your thinking and forget about all your current troubles.
This will take all the pressure off yourself and it will put you in a better feeling place which will give you a better chance of working things out.
15) Still pursue your own hobbies and interests
All though it is a good idea to give and take a little in your relationship. And being kind and considerate is always a good policy.
That does not mean that you should have to compromise and give up everything just to please somebody else.
To make a relationship work you both need to be happy and if you think that you have to compromise and give up all your hobbies and interests to please your partner.
Then that will still leave you feeling a bit resentful and dissatisfied. The same applies to your partner, so give them a bit of freedom, to pursue their own hobbies and interests.
Long term, it cannot be a good idea to sacrifice doing something you like just to please your partner, or end arguments and disputes,
The idea is to keep your partner happy because if they are happy then that can only improve their relationship with you, so everybody wins.
When you give someone an ultimatum like, choose between me and your hobby or interests, then that will put more strain on your relationship.
If they are spending all their time pursuing their own interests, careers and likes then that is a bit different, but no one should have to compromise.
You can pursue your own individual paths and still have time for each other. As you have got trusts, then there are no reasons why you should have to do everything together.
That may initial work at the start, but it is not always a recipe for a successful relationship long term unless you both like doing the same things.
16) Don't Allow Outside Influences To Interfere
Today, modern couples seem to face more pressures than our predecessors, the economic downfall and the ever rising cost of living is forcing more and more couples to work longer hours for no extra benefits.
The stress of the modern day life and financial difficulties has been listed as to some of the main reasons relationships are breaking down amongst other things.
The high price of property and buying your own house has put untold pressure on many young couples.
Marriage guidance and counselling can benefit some couples, however, this can be expensive and it does not always work and the high cost of marriage guidance will only add to the already too high cost of living.
The stresses of bringing up children can if you let it put a strain on your relationship. Your emotional state and your attitude can be the difference between a happy and successful relationship and one that is doomed to failure.
Every couple needs some quality time they can spend alone without the burden of the kids coming between you. So if you can send the kids off to their grandparents for the occasional weekend now and again.
Also, be careful when you're discussing your personal problems with friend and family because what they advice might not always be in the best interests for you.
Sometimes other people's opinions can be good advice, other times they opinions are based around their own experiences and perceptions.
17) A temporary cooling off period can help
If you have reached a point of stalemate and all else has failed, then sometimes a temporary separation can just take the pressure off both of you can help you to sort out your relationships.
Very often it is the case of, you don't know what good you had until it's gone.
You don't want a total separation where you lose touch and contact with each other, just a short period of time apart so you can both de-stress and calm down.
If you choose this route it can be beneficial to still meet up see each other once or twice a week just to keep in touch with each other.
Turn back the clocks and start to date each other, like when you first met, go to the cinema a restaurant or for a few days out.
Some people choose to take a holiday instead of a temporary separation to try and rekindle the old passion which has been lost with all the emotional strains some relationships experience.
We can all tend to become complacent and even begin to neglect ourselves so there is no harm in getting into shape and doing some exercise or going to the gym.
Although you may be convinced your marriage is falling apart and it is destined for failure, there are a lot of measures which you can both take to stave off the expensive counselling and the misery and hardship that divorce and separation can have on both of you and your children if you have any.
No matter what the circumstances and regardless of who is to blame there is very rarely such a circumstance of a hopeless case where the relationship cannot be saved.
Communication is a vital element in making your relationship work. Talking, rather than shouting, helps defuse conflict.
But it is not just about talking about your relationship difficulties and your difference of opinions either.
Sometimes, everyday small talk and everyday communication are missing in a relationship. Especially if the one or both partners have to work long hours.
We all get tired, and we all have our own interests or TV programs that we like to watch. But, it can really help, to spend a bit of quality time, have a discussion with your partner.
Another common problem that can damage a relationship is. When one partner tends to ignore the other when they are out socializing. It can be easy to start to neglect your partner, and leave them feeling left out.
Making an effort to involve them and listen to what they have to say, as well paying them a bit of attention, can go a long way to keeping your relationship alive.
If you're stuck for things to say. Ask them things like how their day went, what they have been up to or ask them how they are feeling, or just engage in everyday general chit chat.
The more you watch the same TV shows together and the more you share some of the same interests, the more you will have to talk about.
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