How To Deal With Your Child Being Bullied
It can be a dramatic change of circumstances for any young child to adapt and make the sometimes daunting transition of shifting from the safety and comfort of their home and protection of their parents to being thrust into school environment for the first time or moving from primary school to secondary school.
So the last thing they need on the journey through life is to be bullied or verbally abused a long the way, yet the number of kids being bullied is still shockingly high and often goes undetected by the teachers and authority figures.
A child's young life should be full of joy, fun, play and learning and they should not have to endure any form of verbal or physical bullying during their young years, to make matters worst it is always the nice children who just want to get on with their life that tend to get picked on.
They need to be brought up in a safe environment and the should not have to frequent a world of fear on a daily basis.
The effects of bullying for primary children or teenagers can be life lasting, symptoms and signs of kids being bullied can be poor quality sleep, bed wetting feeling sad, the effects of bullying for teenagers tends to be more serious and life changing it can leave your child feeling isolated and withdrawn and they can even become aggressive.
Bullying can leave your child feeling stressed or anxious and even depressed, and cause skin problems such as psoriasis, eczema, and it can lower their self-esteem and self-worth and can even lead to suicidal thoughts and in the worst case scenario cause them to commit suicide.
Kids Being Bullied Should Not Be Tolerated
Our Child was a victim of bullying at school and from personal experience I know how it can have a serious effect on the child's health and confidence, if it is not dealt with swiftly the after effects can have a massive bearing on the child's future. On the Doctors advice he was eventually taken out of the school because of the anxiety it was causing him.
The child's confidence and well-being can be destroyed in a few short instances. Once the physiological damage is done it can take a lot of effort and patients to help them rebuild their life's. But it's not just the child who has to live the emotional hurt, bullying can also cause a lot of stress and grief for the parents too.
Some parents have suffered even worse with the tragic and needless loss of their child's life due to the result of being bullied and intimidated. Parents and the authorities need to act quickly to stamp out any bullying. Reports suggest that lot more children have reported contemplating suicide or they have had their life's shattered just because they attend school.
But bullying does not stop once the child has finished their day at school, some children are subjected to bullying after school hours and now with cyber bullying on the increase they are not even immune from it in the once safety of their own home.
See The World From Your Child's Point Of View
It is important to view and understand your child's perspective, it is a very frightening and daunting experience for them to have to face and endure being bullied on a regular basis. Some times the common reaction is to tell the child to stand up for themselves, this approach may work for some but in the majority of cases it is not a good short term way for them to tackle the situation.
Before they can learn to stand up for themselves the need help to build their self esteem and confidence, this can prove to be very hard for any child who's confidence is already fragile doe to the constant bullying, very often the child will be feeling emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable.
This is not a good state to be in to stand up for yourself, it is not just the bullies they will need to contend with they will also have their own feelings to cope with. A child does not asked to be bullied and they can reach a point where they dread the thought of going to school it's like sending them into the lion's den every day.
The child is probably confused and can't understand why they are sent into a situation where they are being bullied each day by their parents who they have always seen as their protectors. Also sometimes bullying is done by bigger and older children or by a gang of children. This can prove to be a hopeless and terrifying ordeal for a child who will often feel powerless to defend themselves.
Things You Can Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied
There are many forms of bullying at school which can either be actually physically harming, verbal abuse and humiliation. If your child is a victim of bullying then they need all the help and support they can get, immediate action is required. Once you become aware that your child is a victim of bullying then the first priority should be the welfare of the child.
If necessary take them away from the situation to begin with, go and visit your doctor and get their backing because have their support is very important. Most schools even with all the anti-bullying campaigns still fail to tackle the issue and even if the schools do act it just carries on outside of the school.
Training your children to become more assertive and self-confident can help, try and join them in a martial arts self defence class. Often the victims of the bullies are shy and sensitive which can make them a sitting target for the bullies.
Children can't always be protected and watched by their parents so they need specialist help and training to be able to deal with the bullies. If your child is being bullied their teachers should be alerted to the situation so they can closely monitor the situation. If your child is being picked on on the journey home from school either give them a lift in your car or make sure an elder is their to work them home.
Sometimes verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, the old saying sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you is far from the truth. If a child has low self esteem then verbal abuse can destroy their already fragile self esteem.
Children also need support to help them deal with their emotions, they will no doubt be experiencing high levels of anxiety and even depression so look out for the warning signs.
Cyber Bullying is The Latest Form of Emotional Abuse
If being bullied at schools is not bad enough, these days children cannot even escape from these cowards away from school. Bullies are now using technology to inflict misery onto other children.
What should be enjoyment and recreational time is now not immune from the bullies and they are now using leisure and entertainment technology to send verbal abuse or negative suggestions and vile messages.
The latest form of bullying is by social networks or text and it can have a serious impact on children, my son once came running to me very upset about some kids who had abused him on MSN and although to us the obvious choice is to turn off the computer or delete the harmful messages left on their mobile phones the children cannot see this.
Children can unfortunately believe and buy into these hurtful comments and suggestions, words can be very potent and powerful, once they buy into the nasty remarks it can lower their self esteem and give them a negative self image.
We often judge ourselves on what other people say about us because we believe it to be true. Negative suggestions can enter straight into the subconscious mind, once it does it can have a strong and negative impact on the child's self image and self worth.
Although it can be easy for the parent to say take no notice these negative suggestions you have to realize that even though this may seem the logical answer from a grown ups perspective a young child or an impressionable teenager does not always dismiss the negative and counter productive comments.
The subconscious mind has no capability to reject anything and whatever enters into it is classed as being true, meaning many children believe these nasty comments must be right. This can have a negative impact on their behaviours, emotional well-being and their life.
It is now estimated that one in three people have been a victim of cyber bullying and this does not just apply to just children alone some adults are also being abused on social networks or by emails and texts, this can have a serious and damaging psychological effect on the victim, and it is by far the most cowardly form of bullying because a lot of it is done anomalously.
Verbal Abuse Can Be As Bad As Physical
Verbal abuse can be more damaging long term that actual physical harm, the emotional pain suffered from verbal abuse and humiliation can mentally scar and stay with a child indefinitely. Once their confidence has been shattered it can take a long time to rebuild again.
It is important to advice your child that they do not have to accept or believe these messages that are being text or sent to them on social networks as being true. Try and learn them to ignore and dismiss the comments, if your child's self esteem is good then they will be better equipped to handle the remarks. It is when their self esteem is low that they can have a damaging knock on effect.
I have seen documentaries on TV covering cyber bullying and in some of the most severe cases it has resulted in the victim committing suicide or it has destroyed their self-worth. One case was where a teenage lad was repeatedly told he was worthless and he should kill himself and tragically it resulted in him committing suicide.
I have heard of another tragic case of a girl who took an overdose because of a result of being bullied on her mobile phone. It makes you wonder whether the risk of letting younger children have mobile phones out ways the benefits.
If you do allow your child to have a mobile phone then it would be advisable to warn them about text bullying and just make them aware of the dangers of social networks.
Talk to your children, tell them to let you know if they are being bullied either physically or verbally, they should be told to always report it to their parents, peers or teachers.
If you know your child is being bullied or if you suspect your child is being bullied then your child needs immediate help and support because the psychological long term effects of bullying can have a traumatic and devastating impact on their lives.
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