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How To Outsmart Your Fear And Anxiety 

Everybody experiences fear and fear can be described as the number one public enemy, nobody can see it yet the feelings you experience are very real. 

Fear controls most of people's conscious thoughts and actions and unless you learn how to manage and process your fear, then it can destroy and sabotage all your efforts to be successful.

Anxiety and fear will stop you from doing all the things you want to do and all the things you know you should be doing, on top of that, it will spoil all your attempts to live a successful and happy life by trying to keep you stuck in your comfort zone.

To sum it up, fear prevents you from being the real authentic you by tricking you into playing it safe and making you respond with fear in the absence of danger, it can also play havoc with your self esteem by making you think you're not good enough or capable enough. 

The job of fear is to push you into taking the easy and safe option by getting you to avoid the things that activate your fear as well, having a devastating effect on your ability to perform well and achieve the success you desire.

Fear can only hold you back if you allow it too

Fear is an emotional and physical response, it is designed to protect and keep you safe so you should not treat it has the enemy within, you just don't want the fear network to be going off when it is not appropriate. 

The emotion of fear becomes associated with outside stimuli and internal thoughts and imaginings. 

The only difference between confident and successful people and those who have major troubles and problems with fear and anxiety is the confident and successful group except they will have a range of feelings and they will still take action despite having the fearful feelings.

They learn to recognize that it is just feelings and they won't allow their feelings to hold them back and prevent them doing the things they want to do or achieve.

This way they learn to grow and expand their comfort zone as their mind soon learns to disassociate the fearful emotions with the external stimuli.

The group who suffer with high levels of fear and anxiety tend to become very sensitive to their fearful feelings and their choice of action is usually, do not do the thing that makes them feel fearful and anxious or avoid the thing or situation. 

This approach learns their mind to carry on fearing the stimuli or situation and instead of growing they stay in their comfort zone and even shrink their comfort zone causing them to miss out on all the things they want.

 Fear tries to make you move away from threats

The fear response is your brain's natural reaction when it perceives a threat or it thinks there could be a threat in the future. 

The stressful response is your mind preparing your body to move away or avoid the potential perceived danger. 

This is a subconscious controlled response and process that happens and lightening pace to get you to rapidly retreat to a place of safety.

The fear is a direct response to an  external stimulus, whilst anxiety is your mind projecting ahead a future situation that could have potential harmful consequences.

Although in the case of anxiety your mind is responding to internal thoughts and images as far as your body and nervous system is concerned the danger is very real, anxiety tries to get you to avoid the potential harmful situation.

Some of the most common fears are 

  1.  Fear of failure 
  2.  Fear of success
  3.  Fear of not being good enough or clever enough 
  4.  Fear of disappointing yourself 
  5.  Fear of being rejected 
  6.  Fear of being ashamed or embarrassed 
  7.  Fear of making mistakes  
  8.  Fear of uncertainty or not knowing 
  9.  Fear of being blamed 
  10.  Fear of fear itself 
  11.  Fear of dying

The underlying causes of some fears

A lot of the time people do not know why they developed their fear and they often don't know why they feel scared. 

Sometimes it can be a result of a bad experience, what you don't want to happen again, other times the seeds of fear could have been planted by something you heard, read or something you watched on television.

You can learn to develop a fear of something even though you have never faced that situation or thing in real life, like. 

You watched a film about a plane crash and it has caused you to develop a fear of flying even though you have never been on a plane before.

There is usually an underlying belief behind your fears mainly because your mind thinks that thing or situation could cause you harm. 

Sometimes it can help to ask yourself what is the worst case scenario that can happen or question what you're really afraid of, tell your mind you want to release the fear or belief behind it because there is no logically reason for you to be afraid.

Picture your life beyond your fears 

Imagine how better your life would be living without fear and how much more you would accomplish if you knew how to manage and release your fears. 

You may be surprised by some of the things that are behind some of your fears like,

  • Low self esteem 
  • Low skill levels
  • Self doubt and not feeling good enough 
  • Low confidence and belief in yourself and your abilities

Fear is basically an effect of what is happening in your mind, it is an emotional and stressful response to your perceptions and your past bad memories. 

These negative and untrue beliefs of self doubt, not having the confidence and the deep down thinking you're not good or capable enough are the underlying cause behind many people's fears.

Your inner insecurities and your self doubt and lack of belief in yourself and your abilities are just perceptions, they are choices you have made but these beliefs and choices can be changed. 

All fears are learned associations, but you can retrain your brain not to respond with fear by changing the way you respond to your fearful thoughts and feelings.

To overcome a fear, you have to face them, then learn to recognize that the fear response is just another a false alarm, so feel and observe the fear but do what you're wanting to do despite the unpleasant feelings.

Below are some useful tips that will help you to get rid of anxiety and fear.

1) Have a regular massage to relax your body and mind 

Any type of massage that targets your neck, shoulders and back muscles will help you to keep your muscles nice and smooth, and remember that muscle tightness and tensions is linked to the fear network. 

When your body is tense you will feel uncomfortable and irritable, where ideally you need to be calm and happy, tension in the neck will put you into the startled mode. 

Also try to keep active, fear is a physical state so get adequate amounts of exercise to burn off all that extra energy.

During periods of stress, worry and anxiety our muscles start to become tense, a regular massage is great for relieving muscle tightness, 

But the benefits don't stop there because you will also feel more at ease and at peace and when that happens your mind will follow suit and become more still leaving you feeling less fearful. It may not stop all your anxiety, but a relaxed body is one part of your action steps towards recovery.

2) Get around nature  

One of the best ways to unwind after a stressful and anxious day is to get out and observe nature, when you get out of your head and put our attention in the present your anxiety will fade and you will feel calm and at peace again. 

There's so many things you can do to ease your stress, like relaxing at the beach, river or lake, sunbathing, going for a stroll in the country or park, just do anything that gets you out and observing nature. 

Watching nature is a kind of meditation, what it will do is it will totally relax your whole body and mind. 

So what you will begin to notice is that you will begin to take your mind off your fears, you will start to feel more and more relaxed which will mean your confidence will come back. 

Getting out of your head is a must in your quest to be anxiety free, worrying all day will up your anxiety and stress levels.

We often worry because we have become bored or we have nothing better to think about. If you have a boring lifestyle or a boring job, then you may need to break the monotony.

It is so easy to get stuck in the same routine and thinking patterns each day and week. Doing the same thing repeatedly and even having the same hobbies and interests can also cause your life to become routine and even mundane.

Doing the same things can take quite simply take the sparkle out of your life, add on top of this all your negative thinking traps, then it's no wonder people are having so much trouble with stress and anxiety.

Trying something new can bring more zest into your life, your brains follow the same patterns, your brain does what it knows and what it thinks is best for you even though sometimes it makes you feel bad. Sometimes you have to give it new patterns to follow.

Some things you can do are, take an evening class, read a book, challenge yourself more often, do things you would normally avoid doing. 

If you're bored and you find yourself endlessly worrying all day, change your thinking, force yourself to think better feeling thoughts. 

Taking up new hobbies and interests is another good way of taking your attention off your fears and anxiety. 

If you cannot find anything good to give your attention to, practice positive daydreaming, fantasize and design your life how you want it to be, just imagine yourself how you ideally want to be and live can make you feel good.

3) Improve your diet and feel better 

Something as simple as eating better and eating healthier foods can have an impact on how you feel. 

If you eat more fruits, vegetables and good quality, nutritious foods, what you'll find is that your negative thoughts will start to dissolve and you will feel less anxious the next, plus your energy levels will increase. 

Also make sure you stay hydrated because when you feel dehydrated, your system will go into danger mode, however, do not drink excessive amounts of water in a short period of time.

4) Breath from your stomach instead of your chest, and take deeper breaths. 

Taking deeper breaths helps you to chill out and breath properly. Most people who suffer with anxiety actually use shallow breathing, which causes stress, negative thinking and a lack of concentration. 

So start to inhale through your stomach instead of breathing from your chest, and take more slower and controlled breaths, it can prove difficult at first, but if you persist you will start to notice yourself becoming a calmer and more a balanced.

5) Do Things that make you feel happy and relaxed 

Do anything that will take you out of your head, mix with people who make you feel good, be inspired by those who have already beaten their anxiety, copy them and start to believe in yourself. 

Again fear and anxiety is a physical and mental state, the way to beat it is to change your physiology and redirect your focus of attention. 

Because fear is a physical state you will greatly benefit from doing some form of regular exercise. Having a nice and relaxed poised, posture can decrease your anxiety levels and boost your confidence and make you feel better. 

Do anything that takes your focus of attention of your anxiety because fear thrives on attention. 

Even science is now agreeing that regular meditation is a fantastic way to combat anxiety and stress, meditation will help you to relax your body as well as slowing down your anxious thoughts and if you want to reduce your anxiety you must deal with those anxious evoking thoughts.

6) Stay Calm Around Your Anxiety Thoughts

You will no doubt have fearful and anxious thoughts, most people get very sensitive to their anxious thoughts and feelings to the point where they just want to get rid of them, but it does not work like that.

In fact, when you become bothered or frustrated by your anxious thoughts and you try and stop them your mind will see this as the thoughts and your feelings are the danger and they will need to be avoided or stopped.

What happens then, you will get locked into a cycle of your trying to avoid or stop your fearful thoughts and that will mean even more stress and anxiety and ultimately more fearful thoughts. 

Until you change the way you respond to your fearful thoughts you will carry on responding fearfully to them.

The solution is, to stop being sensitive to your thoughts, so instead of trying to deal with them or control your thoughts, let them freely come and go whilst you carry on calmly with what you're doing. 

So every time you have some anxious thoughts, instead of resisting them, tell them to carry on, give your mind permission to think them.

Let your mind think the fearful thoughts so it will come to realize they are harmless, whilst you watch your internal thoughts calmly. After a bit your mind will bother you less and less with the fearful thoughts.

7) Face Your Fears 

Fear has probably taught you to avoid or take action to try and prevent what is only a perception or an illusion in your mind from happening, fear forces you to take preventive action so you move away or avoid the perceived danger, but more often than not there is no real threat.

If you want to be free of fear you have to start to change the way you respond, this means stop being bothered about it and don't battle with it. 

So the next time you feel afraid for no genuine reason, be OK with feeling fearful, recognize it for what it really is, a shift in your energy.

Do not allow those feelings to impact your thinking or the way you behave, just feel and observe the changes of energy in your body, you label as fear and either stay put or do what you want to do regardless of how who feel.

This may seem hard to do, but it is necessary, on the onset of your anxious feelings do not fight your feelings. 

Let yourself know that "These are only feelings, they will not harm me, I have survived through anxiety many times before and I was OK". 

The main thing to do is just embrace and laugh at your fear, let the feelings build up and drop down again on their own free will. 

Observe what's going on but let the fear emotions come up through you and away, without you offering any resistance, you can also distract yourself or sing to yourself. After the fear has subsided, laugh at it and see it as just another false alarm.

8) Use Thought Field Therapy To Detach The Emotion From The Negative Memory 

Thought field therapy is a great way to reduce the intensity of your fears, this simple but effect technique can very quickly help you to reduce or eliminate your fears.

The video below will demonstrate to you this unusual but easy to learn technique. Once you have mastered how to perform it, you can begin using it on your fears one by one. 

Any time you have had a bad experience which is causing you to feel negative emotions or if you're worried about a forthcoming specific situation you can just do this fear reducing method.

All you have to do is tune into the bad or stressful memory or situations and the idea of this technique is to activate and bring out those fearful feelings and memories, then while you are thinking about the situation perform this quick ritual. 

Return to the situations that are causing you to react in a fearful response, if you can perform this technique when you're in or about to face a challenging, scary or stressful situation. You can even use it when you're having anxious thoughts or imaginings.

9) Visualizing To Get Rid Of Your Fear 

Imagining yourself in a relaxing place at the very onset of any fear will replace the associated fearful feelings you have linked to any given situation with feelings of calm. 

This can prove tricky to do to start with because people tend to lose focus and they put all their attention onto their unpleasant feelings. 

However, once mastered it is an excellent way to get rid of your fears. 

But don't just visualize it, you must actually imagine you are actually there relaxing by yourself and involve all your sense because when you are feeling stressed and fearful your senses become heightened.

When you reverse the stressful state and use your senses to calm yourself down again, and you can give it as much detail and make your visualization as long as you like. Practice this while you're on your own before you use it in real life situations.

In a real life anxious and stressful situation you can shorten the process down to a minute or two. 

One shortened example, could be, imagine you're in a beautiful and peaceful tropical garden, describe what you can see, what you can hear, what you can smell, what you can feel and touch, what you can taste.

  • Describe all the beauty you can see
  • Describe the pleasant scents of what you can smell
  • Describe the soothing and relaxing sounds you can hear
  • Describe what you can feel like the pleasant sensations you can feel on your skin like the warmth of the sun or the gentle breeze 
  • Imagine your drinking your favourite drink or eating your favourite foods

Then when you notice the onset of fear, instead of allowing your fear to impact your thinking and allowing your imagination to activate emotional arousal, imagine you're at your ideal safe location again so you replace those fearful responses with calm ones.

10) Replace Fear With Feelings Of Calm

Your imagination is a powerful tool, use it only in a positive manner, any situation that has previously made you feel uncomfortable, then imagine it over and over again going well just as you would like it to go. 

You can also use your imagination to prepare yourself for a forth coming stressful event or imagine you have already overcome your fear, focus on how good and how great it feels to be free of your fear.

11) Reduce your stress and tension 

Fear often surfaces after people have been experiencing prolonged periods of worry, stress and tension and the anti-dote to stress and tension is relaxed and calm.  

Reducing your stress and tension might not get rid of all your anxiety and fears, but it will reduce it significantly.

Having a relaxed, aligned and balanced posture will help to reduce your tension, and doing things like meditation or hypnosis will help you to reduce your stress and calm that worrying mind. 

Regular exercise will help to get rid of the extra energy in your body that you will experience during times of stress.

 


 

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