Overcome Your Relationship Insecurities So You Can Enjoy A Happy, Fulfilling And Loving Relationship

Do you constantly seek reassurance from your partner, is your insecurity putting a huge strain on you and your relationship?

It is a well known fact that we create the very things that we fear the most.

Therefore, the more you worry and fear your partner leaving you or going of you, the more you will increase the likelihood of that happening. 

Many perfectly good relationships are needlessly destroyed because people are so insecure in their relationship, that they often allow their insecurities to spoil, what is a perfectly happy and romantic relationship.

When you pause to think about it for a moment. How crazy is that? 

Are you willing to risk the one thing that matters the most to you, your relationship. Which should bring you so much joy and happiness, just because you have previously been hurt or you feel insecure.

The strange thing about feeling insecure in your relationship, for many people, is:

Their relationship is their personal security, as it provides them with a home, a family and a loving partner who is contributing their share to the up keeping and the financing of your home, which offers you shelter, warmth and security.

When you think about it. Why risk losing all you have built over the years and why risk ending up having to support yourself and start all over again, doing everything yourself.

Just to satisfy your suspicious mind, your fears and insecurities, which mainly all exists within the confines of your mind?

The primary job of your mind is to actually help you to move you away from pain and move you towards pleasure.

In the case of insecurity in a relationship, however. 

Your mind has got this concept, completely all the wrong way around, because it is actually moving you away from pleasure and moving you towards deep and immense pain.

The reason for this confusion is because: 

Your mind does not cope very well with the not knowing or all the doubts and uncertainty. 

When uncertainty arises, your overactive imagination, will always try to fill in the blanks. The trouble is your imagination can not be trusted.

Your imagination is driven by your beliefs, previous bad relationship experiences and your current feelings and emotions and it has no idea of predicting what is really happening.

You can trust your intuition, but not your imagination.

Just because you may have been hurt or cheated on in a previous relationship, does not mean that lightning will strike again.

Sometimes it is not your partner that is betraying you, it is your own self destructive mind and negative emotions that are betraying you and letting you down the most.

If you're feeling insecure, angry or suspicious. Your mind will create a story that matches up with the way you feel and think.

Insecurity is the scourge of all relationships, because not only does it erode and rob you of your loving relationship, it causes an uncomfortable and unhealthy relationship and because you are suffering your partner suffers as well.

When insecurity strikes, even though you may logically know that your putting your relationship at risk. 

The need to feel constantly reassured can be so emotionally powerful and overwhelming that it takes over all your logical and rational thinking and behaving which triggers all your self destructive behaviors and actions.

The think to be aware of. Your thoughts, needs and insecurities are not necessarily a true reflection of how your partner is thinking, feeling and behaving.

If you want to return back to a happy, loving, enjoyable, passionate and loving relationship. You need to do something about your inner relationship insecurities.

Because, if you leave your fears, worries and doubts to simmer and fester. They will cause you to feel anxious, worried, insecure, unloved and angry, and no amount of reassurance will tame those relationship insecurities.

It only takes one insecure thought or doubt to creep into your mine to cause you to get stuck in a vicious loop and cycle, of anger, upset, fear, suspicion and worry.

Why so many relationships are destroyed by insecurity is because. The strong and intense emotions, are so powerful they force people to say, act and do things, that they will almost inevitably regret.

If you constantly depend on your partner to ease your fears, suspicions and worries. 

Then this will not resolve your problem as it will never really offer you the security that you're desperately seeking, and it won't be long before you feel the need for even more ressaurance.

This pattern and cycle will repeat itself over and over again, until you push your confused partner over the edge and you risk ending your relationship.

The root cause of your relationship insecurities are being driven by patterns of behaviors and negative associations that you have learned from your previous bad relationships or they have been inherited from your childhood and life experiences.

These can also be caused if your parents were in a bad relationship.

The best way to end your relationship insecurities, ease your worried mind and save your loving relationship is to fix your inner relationship insecurities and change your inner patterns and they way you respond to your bad memories.

Why your relationship insecurities are driving you both further apart?

Because your inner thoughts and feelings of insecurity can lead you to becoming overly anxious. They can influence and negatively affect your actions, behaviors and what you say and do. 

Relationship insecurities, can push you into over analysing, over checking and over monitoring your partners every move and behavior.

The reason you do that is to calm your anxious mind and give you the reassurance that you are seeking.

Those niggling insecurities trigger feelings of anxiety, which can drive you to constantly ask your partner what they're thinking, what they're up to and whether they still love you.

Insecurity and fear in your relationship can make you overly possessive and jealous. Leaving you feeling the need to want to control your partner and track their every move in your bid to to save your relationship.

But as you know, this can cause tension and problems in your relationship. It can also spell the beginning of the end of your relationship, if you're not careful.

Even if your partner does reassures you. The reassurance is usually short lived and it won't be long before your insecurity rears its ugly head again, leading to a very unhappy and unhealthy vicious cycle.

Needing to have you insecurities met, can soon drive a wedge between you and your partner. 

All of a sudden, your partner's role switches from your lover and best friend, to your own reassurance counselor as they try in vain to calm your forever anxious and insecure mind.

This can kill the passion and intimacy. And your need to be reassured constantly, can begin to wear your partner down and push them further away.  

instead of meeting your partner's emotional needs. You can soon turn what was once a loving and fulfilling relationship into a difficult situation. 

Therefore, instead of you both enjoying the pleasures and wonders, that a good loving relationship can provide you where both of you support, appreciate and help each other.

Where you both enjoy a secure, loving and happy relationship of harmony, respect and unity. You will risk driving your partner away and creating the very situation that you don't want.

Relationships are important. Because, a healthy, fulfilling and loving relationship is good for in so many positive and beneficial ways.

For example: A good relationship can boost your emotional well-being and it can be good for your general health. 

Studies have shown that those who have a loving, strong and happy relationship and bond, can even live longer. 

When your relationship is at its best and running smoothly. It can help you to deal with life's challenges and life's ups and downs, better. And life will flow easier for you in so many positive ways.  

But when you allow your relationship insecurities to creep in and take hold.

They can cause you self destructive emotions and actions, that can torment you and take away all your peace of mind, love, enjoyment, happiness, passion and intimacy out of your relationship.

At their most destructive and worse, they can even rob you of your loving relationship, and that is a crying shame that could be so easily avoided.

The sad thing about your relationship insecurity is, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Because, if it does cause the breakup of your relationship. Then it easy for you to fall into the mental trap and line of thinking, that your insecurities we justified and your worst fears were true, because, they turned out to be right.

When really, it was more likely that it was you relationship insecurities and the actions you took, based on those feelings of insecurity, that were responsible for your failed relationship.

So not only, will you run the risk of allowing you relationship insecurities to destroy your relationship. If you do not address those insecurities, then the whole cycle can happen again and again.

But the real sad thing about relationship insecurities is, they are not a true reflection on what is really happening.

Your insecurities aren't even you. They are a figment of your imagination, which is just making things up, and you're believing and trusting your overactive imagination, rather than the true facts.

If you are forming all your opinions, based solely on your imagination. Then you are possibly making one of the biggest mistakes you possibly could ever make.

Trust your intuition, because your intuition knows, but never trust your imagination. Because your imagination makes things up and fills in the blanks or it uses your previous bad relationship experiences to gauge the one you're in now.

The first biggest step you can take is to start to distinguish between what is real and what you are imagination.

The trouble is, our imagination is so powerful and the feeling are so real and intense that we far too easily act on them, without stepping back and logically evaluating the situation.

When you start to stop trusting and believing the stories in your mind, those stories will stop and the feelings will melt away.

The real bad, sinister and dark side of relationship insecurities is. 

Sometime the only thing that is wrong with your relationship is the fear and thoughts that there is something wrong or the belief that things are or will go wrong for you.

Yet you can prevent your fears and worries from coming true and destroying your relationship. Simply by learning how to overcome your relationship insecurities.

Relationship insecurities are one of the most common reasons for relationship breakups

According to research. Insecurity is the top ten list of reasons for why marriages and relationships end in divorce and separation.

But, insecurity is not just one of the major relationships killers. Insecurity is much more sinister than that and it can also affect you, your emotional well-being, your general health and the quality of life.

So imagine how much better you're going to feel and picture how much better your relationship will be. If you learned how to let go of your insecurities.  

No relationship is perfect, they all have there ups and downs, there will be arguments, disagreements, stressful times and challenges to overcome at times. 

But a good and strong trusting relationship can withstand the tough times and you can both come through it. But a relationship will struggle to survive, if one of you is insecure or has persistant relationship insecurities.

Perhaps you are finding it a bit difficult to overcome your insecurities, many people do. 

This mainly happens because, you will probably have two underlying insecurity issues, that you will need to confront head on and overcome. 

Change can be tough and it can take time and effort. But think about all those positive benefits you will be rewarded with. 

Such as. You will free and calm your every worrying and anxious mind. You will feel more at peace and ease with yourself. All your emotional stress and tension will melt away. 

But, perhaps the biggest prize of all will be. You will go on to experience a happy, loving, enjoyable and fulfilling relationship, with your partner.

Not to mention. You will also find that you will develop a better relationship with yourself.

Relationship insecurities can be divided into two categories. There are your own inner personal insecurities and issues to overcome and you will have also have the ones that are affecting you relationship to also resolve. 

Your own insecurities could stem from an untrue belief that you somehow think you don't deserve love or you are unworthy of love. 

You may have been through some previous bad relationship experiences or your insecurities could be a bye product of self esteem or body conscious issues, that are channelling out as insecurities in your relationship

It is always important to totally accept yourself, faults including. If you feel the need, look your best and keep yourself in good shape and make the most of what you've got.

But never allow the things that you cannot change to diminish you or knock you down. Your partner accepted you for who and what you are, so isn't time you did the same.

Because hidden beneath your insecurities lies a loving, worthy, good enough and deserving you who fully deserves to love and be loved back. 

Relationships are one of our basic human needs

Relationships are most important human need. They provide you with intimacy, a deep sense of connection, love and security. 

So when we feel that our relationships is at risk, things are going wrong or we think we are being lied to or cheated on or we feel that our partner has fallen out of love with us. 

Then thoughts and feelings of insecurity and anxiety can soon begin to surface.

When things are going good, all your physical and emotional needs and desires, will be met.

When you're relationships is going well, you won't have a care in the world, you will feel happy, at ease and fulfilled and your life will be as wonderful as life can be. 

Remember how great things were at the start of your relationship. 

You were so focused with each other and you were both paying so much attention to each other, you probably did not have a care in the world?

Cast your mind back to when you were first falling in love. 

Your partner was your number one priority. Everything was rosy and all you were thinking about was how to make your partner happy and imagining and planning all the wonderful things you would be doing together.

Wouldn't be nice to return back to how good things were in those golden early stages of your relationship?

Well there are no time machines. But there is no reason why you cannot recapture the happiness, joy and wonder of those early years and you can even respark your relationship and make it better than before.

But before that can happen. There is on thing that you need to do, and that is to overcome your relationship insecurities.

Because by addressing this issues. You can immediately begin to improve your relationship, ease your relationship tension, bring your partner closer to you.

By freeing yourself from those same old patterns, self destructive, relationship damaging, thoughts and feelings of insecurities. 

How crazy is it to all your relationship insecurities to destroy a perfectly good and happy relationships.

You may be pushing your partner away and risking your relationship ending, based on the stories that you're telling yourself, when there is absolutely nothing wrong within your relationship.

This does not mean that there are not some bad people out there who treat their partners badly.

But you have to ask yourself.

Are your relationship insecurities based on true fact and real evidence or they based on your overactive imagination and your damaging beliefs and your need to be constantly reassured? 

And do you trust your imagination more than your partner?

You must not allow your imagination, your past bad experiences and the stories that you're telling yourself to potentially ruin your relationship.

Awareness and mindfulness is the first step in easing your relationship insecurities. Try not buy into your imagination.

If you allow your insecurities to get the better of you, it will activate stress, anger and tension in your mind and body which will destroy you and your relationship.

It is also important to be aware that insecurity can lead to jealousy and one a one line of thinking which can lead to you needing to be reassured and feeling the urge to doubt and question your partners actions and intentions.

Unless you get on top of this, it can spell disaster for your relationship. 

Unless you have concrete evidence to suggest otherwise, try to trust your partners intentions are honourable and accept what your partners is doing or telling you is true.

Thoughts of insecurity lead to regrettable actions which will damage your relationship

If you have relationship insecurities. Why allow them to fester inside of you and eat you up, and risk spoiling what could be a wonderful loving and life experience with your partner.

Because, when you allow your thoughts, insecurities and feelings to manifest, they will push you into doing or saying things that you will probably severely regret afterwards.

When left untreated. Those intense feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, anger and frustrations will consume all your thinking time, until it reaches a point where you cannot help yourself, but to react, usually with damaging consequences.

Sometimes. The need to feed your own insecurities is so strong that it can force you to confront and question your partner. 

Often because that is the only way you know to ease and reassure your mind and release all those intense feelings and emotions.

Do you find that when your partner is out. That you spend all your time imagining what their up to or you imagine that they are seeing somebody else? Do you constantly feel the need to be reassured?  

The trouble with insecurity is. Unless you treat the root cause of your relationship insecurities. 

Any comfort or reassurance you receive, will be temporary. And the cycle will just happen again and again, in this and in any future relationships.

Your imagination doesn't depict the truth it just portrays and projects what you want to believe and it will base its predictions on your current beliefs and the emotions you're feeling.

When you free yourself from your relationship insecurities. You will experience those calm and good feelings emotions that will allow you to enjoy all the positive benefits and happiness that a relationship can provide you.

Don't leave it until it is to late. End your relationship insecurities, not your relationship, so you can feel relaxed with your partner allowing you the time to make your love story have a happy ending.

Another way to reduce relationship insecurities is by cutting of the source of your insecurities by accepting the worse case scenario and being OK with it, with the knowing that you'll move on and make the most of your life.

For your own sake and peace of mind. Developing an attitude of not caring what your partner is doing and allowing them to do their own things while you pursue your own interests, can ease your insecurities and stress.

Obviously, you want to be respected and treated well. But if you can stop caring, you will start to feel better and it can actually improve your relationship.

Because the more tension and stress your harboring within yourself the more tension and stress it will create in your relationship. 

You may have those insecurity evoking thoughts many times, such as.

  • What if my relationship ends
  • I cannot live without my partner
  • I'll never going to meet anybody else
Naturally, you don't want your relationship to end. But if you can accept it could happen and then, let yourself know that you will be OK. Then this can help to calm your relationship insecurities.

Insecurity thoughts like the above, will get your mind to look out for threats or the worse case scenario, rather than looking for the good or the positives or better times, what could be. 

Although it might feel safer to feel secure, it's really no way to live.

Instead of focusing on the negative. Change the feeling, by reassuring yourself that "whatever happens, I'll be OK" will help to free you from your world of fear. 

When you stop fearing the worst and worrying about it. Then, you will open the door to brand new exciting opportunities and possibilities.

Also your relationships will become more fulfilling, you will feel better about yourself and you will feel confident to attempt more things.

The good thing is, the more you focus off your anxiety and you put your attention onto other things. The more you anxiety will begin to subside which will allow your relationship to flourish.

You will never get the reassurance you want

Although you might like to admit it, the chances are your own relationship insecurities are putting a big and unnecessary strain on you, your partner and your relationship.

Most people become so emotionally involved with their relationship insecurities that they fail to see that their relationship insecurities are responsible for their own unhappiness, anxieties and relationship issues.

it is only when their relationships are at the point of a breakup or even when it is to late, that they finally realize that it is very often their own insecurities that were to blame.

The biggest clue to know if you are insecure in your relationship, is if you constantly seek reassurance.

The problem with always wanting to be reassured is, like all forms of anxieties and insecurities, it will leave you going around in circles.

In the end the only person that can reassure you is yourself.

Anybody else can reassure you, from your friends, family and your partner and they can keep telling you everything is OK and everything is going to be fine.

But if you allow those niggling doubts and insecurities to play on your mind. 

Then any reassurance you receive will only supply you with a bit of temporary relief and you will soon be back to your old patterns of seeking out more reassurance.

Without all your relationship insecurities holding you back. You will start to feel better within yourself and you will feel more secure and emotionally balanced.

And the good thing about letting go you relationship insecurities. You will allow your relationship to blossom, grow and flourish tremendously.

When you worry and feeling insecure all the time. It will cause you to feel horrible as well as putting a huge and a totally unnecessary strain on your relationship.

Very often, relationship insecurities will cause you to want to try and control your partner mannerisms, actions and behaviors.

However, this is not the right path to take, if you want an enjoyable and fulfilling relationship.

But, when you start to let go of the need for control and release your relationship insecurities, then you will feel a sense of instant relief and your partner and your relationship will benefit tremendously from this.

Why you crave to be loved

When you were a young baby and young child.

Your parents would shower you with undivided, love, affection, attention, gifts and admiration.

The adoration and affection they gave you would fill you with a strong sense of security and feelings of being loved, and it felt wonderful you

If you wanted their attention, you would easily get it. If you were upset, they were there to comfort you if you wanted to be comforted, they would comfort for you. 

If your emotional and physical needs needed to be met, your parents would instantly drop everything to make sure you were satisfied and well cared for.

As a child, they would give in to your every whim and demand and you adored and took full advantage of this and you knew exactly how to get everything your own way.

This was a great period of your life, and everything seemed perfect in your world and your life was full of fun, love, enjoyment and you have a strong sense of being wanted, loved and appreciated.

This made you feel, happy and secure.

But this does not last forever, things change, there is no way our our parents could maintain and keep up that level of attention. 

With all the pressure, stresses and strains of modern day living and all the demands of bringing up young children combined with your parents having to work, look after you, look after the house and go to work. 

They could not match the levels of attention and affection, that they once gave you.

Even though your parents would still love and adore you, they would not show it so much.

Gradually all the attention, affection and love would, bit by bit, appear to wear off. 

You now know, that this is just a part of life. 

But back then, all of a sudden, you were no longer receiving all the love and attention, that once, made you feel, loved, wanted and appreciated, and the love and affection that you craved for.

One minute you're the focus of your parent's attention and you had the ability to please and fill your parents with joy and happiness.

Then, all of a sudden, to you, it all disappears, and you desperately want it all back.

This can leave you feel a bit insecure.

Then one day, years later. You meet your partner, who now becomes the new love of your life.

This makes you feel great and fills you with a sense of joy.

All of a sudden, you have now recaptured all the love and affection, your partner showers you with love, cares for you deeply and showers you with love, affection, attention and gifts and you can do no wrong.

Once again, you feel loved, the center of somebody else's attention and affection, and again you feel secure and happy, and you just want it to last forever.

But once again. It is hard to maintain things at this level, and yet again, the positivity and love, are replaced by negativity and the stresses and strains put on you and your partner.

Even though your partner still loves and appreciate you. They also have their own issues, challenges, hobbies and stresses that keep them occupied with themselves.

Slowly the insecurities and doubts start to creep in, as you secretly dread the thought of losing all the love and attention again.

The lessons to be learned are. You cannot always rely or depend on others to give you all their love and attention.

Nothing is more important to you, than to feel like you did when you were a young child and when you first met your partner.

But, because you cannot always rely on others to make you feel happy and secure. So now it is your responsibility.

If you crave for love. Then always remember that your inner being, has always loved you and always will.

Maintaining a happy and enjoyable relationship

The sad thing about relationship insecurity is. Very often one person's insecurity can spoil a really happy, solid and strong relationship.

Sometimes there are no problems in a relationship until one partner's inner insecurities raise their ugly head, which creates a problem where a problem did not even exist.

When hidden emotional insecurities surface, they can have a negative and damaging effect, on the relationship as a whole. 

If you are harboring relationship insecurities, then it is far better for you to change, and for you to address and fix your relationship insecurities, rather than wanting to change your partner.

Because the best solution to resolving your relationship insecurities is to fix your thinking and to erase your insecurities.

Because it is far too easy to fall into a pattern of self denial and for you to pretend as if everything is fine, even when the insecurity has reached a stage where it is damaging your relationship and affecting your own happiness. 

Such pretense and denial can leave you feeling isolated and if left to simmer it can drive your partner and you, further and further apart. 

This is how insecurity can damage or even destroy your perfectly good and happy relationship.

Relationships thrive on intimacy and trust, and intimacy stems from feeling you can safely be yourself with your partner. 

A good and happy relationship, can only be found when both of you are happy, calm and content.

Worrying about relationship breakup, will activate negative feelings, which creates more negative thoughts and perceptions, which breeds more feelings of insecurity.

Insecurity stemming from a fear of losing the intimacy or losing the love of your life can actually bring about a loss of intimacy, a loss of closeness and even the loss of your partner. 

And this is why it is important to address and correct your emotional relationship insecurities. 

Because what you have convinced yourself, what you have been feeling and what you have been imagining, will not be the same as what your partner is thinking, feeling or doing.

Are you allowing your past experiences to ruin your relationship?

Insecurity in a relationship is very common, at it is the root cause of many problems in many relationships.

You might not even beware that you have these hidden insecurities and patterns that are damaging your relationship as well as hurting you.

You may have done your best to think positive, but you find those thoughts and feelings of insecurity keep on returning.

How often, have you allowed your doubts, insecurities and suspicions, even if you have no real evidence to back them up, push you into saying or doing things that caused a heated argument or resulted in something that you later regretted?

Your past insecurities can also block of your chances of enjoying a normal, healthy, loving and fulfilling relationship, both on a physical and an emotional level.

Relationships insecurities are often born from previous bad relationship experiences.

If you have been involved in a bad or abusive relationship, they can prevent you from starting a new loving relationship for the fear of having to go through the same bad experience again.

Bad relationships, can lead us to stereotype, all men/woman as being the same.

Become mindful too the thoughts that are driving your insecurities

The first step that you need to take is to learn to be aware of those intrusive and obsessive thought patterns that are driving your insecurities and impulses to seek reassurance or feel the need for certainty.

Once you have become mindful too those repetitive thoughts, you can begin to challenge and question them, so you don't allow them to push you into a confrontation or cross examination of your partner.

The last thing you want is to have a heated and argument, because they cause more damage than good, and there is little to gain, but a lot to be lost, by having an argument.

If you feel insecure, you are probably always seeking reassurance, but when you fall into the insecurity pattern, it does not matter how much reassurance you receive. 

Fear and insecurity thrive on the need for certainty and the knowing everything will be OK.  But you can never have the complete certainty that you're seeking. 

Most of the time you already probably know, that your thoughts of jealousy and insecurity are not even realistic and you have no real evidence to back them up, except for your overactive imagination.

However, that does not necessarily, stop the bombardment, of negative and insecure thoughts and perceptions.

To begin to suffocate and reduce your relationship insecurities. It is best to accept the worst case scenario could happen. 

Sometimes, even though you want the certainty that your relationship will last forever. You have to accept, that you cannot have that guarantee, and if it did happen. It is not the end of the world.

Let you know that. If your relationship was to end, you will be alright. Because by welcoming a bit of uncertainty, you will have less feelings of insecurity, which will actually increase the chances of your relationship lasting and flourishing.

Sometimes having a care less type of attitude, can actually end your fears and worries, which can actually have a positive effect on your relationship. 

Of course, you don't want to spend much time thinking about your relationship ending. The reason, why you're accepting the worst and being OK with it is because. 

You want to ease all your worries and insecurities, so it will make your relationship better. Otherwise, you will feel that you need to be with your partner, or know their every move, just to make sure everything is fine.

This will put pressure on your relationship, and prevent both you and your partner enjoying doing their own things.

Turn your insecurities into positives. Use them to motivate you to solve your own worries and relationship insecurities, so you can harness all that energy to help you make you and your relationship better.

Because when you feel content and at peace this is going to reflect itself, back out into your relationship in many positive ways.

Of course, you want to have a happy and loving relationship, but once you know you can handle a relationship breakup, you can put all your energy and focus on having a great relationship.

Because your relationship is not meant to make you feel unhappy, worried and anxious, 

You should be enjoying a fun and passionate relationship experience with all the many positive physical and emotional benefits that a good solid and loving relationship can bring you.

Although we blame our partners for our current relationships. Sometimes this may be justified, other times it is not.

Before you can go about having your ideal perfect loving relationship that you desire. You may need to resolve your own insecurities and emotional issues first.

Saving your relationship

Do you think your partner will love you more and desire to spend more time with you if you did not have all you niggling insecurities?

Your partner really wants you to be the same person as you were when you first met, they probably just want to love you and be loved back, without any complications, but you're making it so difficult for them.

You would make it so much easier to love and be with, if you were free of your insecurities.

When you feel insecure, it is because you have not resolved your own feelings and insecurities, and this is making it impossible for you to feel secure in your relationship. 

Because no one would carry on feeling insecure and confused, if they have not experienced the feelings of clarity, emotional freedom and inner peace.

If you don't feel secure in yourself and you don't trust that everything will work out for you if you just allow it to happen. 

Then you're not going to feel secure in your relationship and you're always going to struggle to trust your partner.

Deep down, you don't want your relationship to be like this, what you desire is a loving and happy fulfilling relationship.

You don't want to have to try and control your partner or constantly seek reassurance, just to make you feel secure and happy.

You're probably fed up, upset and angry about having to constantly try and control things on outside or have your partner to conform to your ways, just to make you feel at ease.

Because, when you try to control events on the outside all the time, you get fragmented, frustrated, angry, more suspicious, stressed, worried and you end up feeling even more insecure.

Because, it becomes an exhausting and never ending battle. You cannot control everything on the outside, the only thing that you can control is how you think and feel on the inside and how you choose to react to, and perceive a situation.

But what you will find is, when you release your insecurities and you work on feeling good and content on the inside. 

The atmosphere around you will begin to change and soften and both you and your partner's, lives will get better and better. 

Things will then naturally begin to improve for you on the outside and the chances are, as you get better, your relationship, health and well-being will benefit tremendously.

When you do the emotional healing work.

Your relationship will begin to flourish on the outside, and if ever you did separate, at least you will be fully equipped to get on with your life and find another partner, with the knowing whatever happens, you'll be OK.

Wouldn't it be amazing, if you could let go of your insecurities, you felt at peace and content on the inside, and all your cares and worries just melted away.

Ask yourself this?

Which would you prefer. To feel happy and secure on the inside and to go on to enjoy a happy, enjoy fulfilling and loving.

Or to carry on feeling insecure and run the risk of pushing your partner away.

The answer is so simple, of course you would rather love and be loved back, rather than carry on as you have been doing.

If you would only let go of your inner insecurities, you could soon be enjoying an exhilarating and wonderful relationship.

You can't get from where you are right now, to where you really desire to be, if you hold onto your insecurities and doubts.

If you want to resolve your relationship insecurities, visit the website below

How a happy relationship, might add, on years to your life?

According to research by the American Psychological Association. A good happy and loving relationship can do wonders for your health and mood. And it may even help, to add on years to your life.

The report states, that isolation and loneliness, maybe linked to health and well-being issues.

The study suggests that. When you have two people who are working together to have a good and happy relationship. Then it can lead to many positive health and well-being benefits.

Close personal connections, can have a positive impact on our health and state of being. Whilst a bad or toxic relationship can have the adverse effect, causing you endless worry, anger and stress. 

This is why it is of utmost importance, that you release your relationship insecurities that are toxic to your relationship and bad for your health and well-being.

If you suffer from chronic relationship insecurity, then you have a major disadvantage with your relationship and your levels of happiness.

Relationship insecurities will simmer and boil within the confinements of your mind. They can make your life hell and they can make life a misery for your, probably confused, partner.

Obsessive thoughts and fearful emotions that come with insecurity, can be so powerful and overwhelming. 

Although at heart, you just want a happy and loving relationship. Your obsessive thoughts can push you into doing and saying things that can potentially damage and destroy your relationship.

If you leave your insecurities untreated, they will fester under the surface. In the end, you will run the risk of destroying the very thing that is most important to you and your happiness.

But it is not just you that suffers, your partner will also feel the pain and if you have children, then it can affect them as well.

Your relationship insecurities, can make life unbearable for you, but they can also make life unbearable for your partner.

Yet, if you overcome your relationship securities. You and your partner can return to a normal life so you can go on to enjoy all the positive benefits and bliss, that a happy and intimate relationship can bring you.

However, if you leave your insecurities to carry on doing their damage, then it can lead to serious relationship problems, further on down the line. 

Because, no matter how hard you try to suppress your feelings, thoughts and insecurities. The chances are, the strong feelings and emotions will keep on resurfacing and get the better of you. 

Emotions and feelings can be so overwhelming, that you won't be able to help yourself, from seeking reassurance or constantly analyzing and checking your partners every move.

Your relationship matters to you. But your relationships are meant to bring you pleasure and happiness, not pain and emotional suffering.

A happy and loving, healthy relationship is one of the human's basic emotional needs and desires. It is the foundation for a happy, peaceful and fulfilling life experience. 

When your relationship is good. You feel good, and life becomes wonderful, blissful and easy. 

But, when you have niggling relationship insecurities it negatively affects your life and it becomes difficult to enjoy a loving and fulfilling relationship. 

But it is not just your emotional well-being and relationship that is at stake. All the worry and stress can take its toll on your health.

Relationship insecurities cause you to ask many intrusive questions, in your quest to seek reassurance and quell those underlying fears and doubts. 

Your forever anxious and insecure mind pushes you into analyzing, questioning and doubting your partners every move.

When your insecurity takes over. You will ask those questions like. 
  • He/she, doesn't find myself attracted any more. 
  • Does he/she still love me? 
  • It is not the same as it used to be 
  • Is he/she going to leave me? 
  • What is he/she up to? 
  • Why hasn't he/she answered my text?  
  • Have I done something wrong?
  • This is too good to last 
  • Everything always goes wrong for me 
  • I am driving him/her away 
  • I cannot stand the thought of losing him/her 
  • He/she, is losing interest in me
  • He/she is more interested in their friend/hobbies 
  • Has he met someone else 
  • What's he/she up to/planning? 
  • Why is he/she so quiet? 
  • What can I do?
The next thing that tends to happen is. Once you pose your mind those questions of insecurity and doubt.

Your mind will try and come back with an answer, and it will usually paint a picture and tell a story of what you fear the most.

This will trigger an internal investigation and analysis, which will be based on your inner perceptions rather than real life facts.   

Low self esteem leads to insecurity

Many insecure people also suffer with low levels of self esteem and self worth. If you think that you're not worthy or good enough, it can prevent you from enjoying a happy relationship.

Low self esteem and low self worth, can leave you always feeling the need to be reassured. It can also make you feel, that your partner, does not find you attractive or they do not really love you or want to be with you.

But this is not always true. Because, your partner chose to be with you in the first place and if they're still with you now, then this indicates that they still want to be with you.

What you're thinking and perceiving, does not necessarily reflect, what they're thinking and feeling.

Yes, some relationships run their course. But at the same time, many good relationships are ruined by inner underlying insecurities.

Your anxious mind, can see and imagine a problem that don't really exists in your actual reality, often making a problem out of noting or finding a problem that does not really exist.

Ironically, all the worrying and fear, of a relationship breakup, creates a breeding ground for more insecurity, that can sadly, lead to a problem or relationship split. 

Even though, you probably already had a perfectly good and healthy, loving relationship, where there was never, initially a problem.

Insecurity is linked to fear, and fear is linked to uncertainty. This can leave you always wanting to be reassured, but as you know. 

No matter how many times your partner reassures you, it is never enough. The reason for this is because an uncertain and insecure mind, is never a settled, satisfied or content mind.

Insecurity and uncertainty, keeps you focused on the worse case scenario, which will prevent you from experiencing all the good, that a happy and loving relationship can offer you.

This can lead to chronic stress, anger, tension and emotional pain.

Treating the root cause of your relationship insecurities

Relationship insecurities cause friction and conflict, they will eat away at you and they can destroy a perfectly good relationship. 

Very often, people who are insecure look on the outside to try and fix their problem, hoping it will calm their fears and their emotional needs, will be met.

Unfortunately, this leads you to seek reassurance from your partner all the time. Leaving you always relying on their behaviors, actions and affection, to calm your worried mind.

The trouble is. When you fail to treat to root source of your problem. You will always be relying on your outside circumstances to change, to make you feel at ease. 

When you're totally reliant on your partner to quieten your insecurities, at best. This will only give you temporary relief.

Insecurity is an internal problem and inner conflict which is going on within your mind, which creates all those unpleasant feelings, thoughts and emotional attachments.

Many of your relationship insecurities are born from your past negative experiences and beliefs, these bad experiences, when left untreated, will carry on influencing your now and your future.

What has happened in the past, does not necessarily reflect your current situation.

The major fault with our minds is. Our brain uses our past experiences, to try and protect us and make sure we don't suffer the same emotional pain again.

This can cause you to perceive a present situation, through the lens of a past bad experience, causing you to imagine the worst or sabotage what is good.

The more something matters to you, the more, emotionally significant it becomes to you. 

What happens then is. Your emotional brain will fear the worst and ignore the good. Causing you to think about what you suspect or what you don't want to happen more often. 

Your inner critical voice will seize on this, and if you're not careful, you will believe your negative inner critical voice, more than your partner and more than the real actual truth.

Insecure people are too influenced and dictated by their thoughts, feelings and perceptions and they live their life in the emotions of their sometimes, make believe inner world.

Sometimes, our perceptions of what we think and believe to be true, is nothing more than us, playing along to a bad nightmare.

Some people might say there is no smoke without fire. But it all depends on who is lightening and stoking the fire.

If you can accept the worst case scenario and deal with it and let you know that, "Whatever happens you'll be Ok. Then that can put an end to your fears and anxieties.

You have to try and distinguish between what is a damaging negative believe, thought or suspicion and what is fact. 

Otherwise, you will be at the mercy of that self doubting, self critical and self sabotaging inner voice.

Your inner critical voice will make things up and flood your mind with thoughts of pessimism, doom, doubt and disaster. 

And then it will turn on you, and it will viciously attack your self worth, self esteem and your self value.

Until the inner critic is silenced and your insecurities are released or changed, rarely will things get better.

This is why it is so important to fix the real root cause of your problem, and you do this, by treating your inner insecurities from the inside. 

Once you do that, as your mind will begin to settle and you will find that you begin to feel less insecure and more balanced.

What you will probably find is. Once all the pressure, the dark clouds and the stress and anxiety have been lifted. 

Your relationship will automatically start to get better, which will greatly benefit the both of you.

Is your imagination a reflection of the truth?

If you suffer with relationship insecurities, then sometimes no matter how many times your partner reassures you, it is never enough.

You want to stop worrying and fretting about what your partner is up to, or why he/she has not immediately answered your latest text.

But yet again, you find that your imagination is taking over you and filling in all the blanks.

But can you really trust your imagination, let alone act on it?

Do you always think the worst case scenario and then believe it, instead of looking at the more realistic reasons first?

Your imagination is very good at creating the story and scenario in your mind that you fear and worry about the most.

The solution is not to try and make your partner change or constantly text you and reassure you, the solution is, to change the way you react and perceive your situations.

The thing to be aware of, your imagination is not real, it is just a projection of possibilities that often are not backed up by any evidence.

Again, learn to be mindful to the thoughts and imaginings that are causing you all your stress and your negative emotions.

Instead of judging without real evidence, and instead of becoming engaged in the stories of your mind, decide how you want to respond to your thoughts and feelings.

We all have our own thoughts and perceptions, engaging in thoughts of doubt and insecurity lead to strong negative feelings and emotions.

Once you learn how to change the way you respond to your experiences and your imagination, then you will be left feeling calmer, more in control and more at peace.

And when you are at peace with yourself and your relationship, your partner and your relationship will benefit, greatly.

All you have to do is to practice changing the way you respond to your thoughts and beliefs, this takes a little bit of practice, but you will soon be left feeling calmer and more in control of your feelings and emotions.

When you sense an emotion, and you either try to suppress it or resist it, then you will not process that emotions, so your problem and your insecurities will persist and you won't overcome it or let go of it.

Many of us hold on to negative thoughts, feelings and emotions instead of releasing them.

The thing to do is to acknowledge the emotion and thoughts, feel the emotion and feelings, without reacting, and then choose what you're going to do about your fear, concern or worry, or just change it, dismiss it or release it and let it go.

Is a previous bad memory, causing your insecurities

The reason why many people suffer with relationship insecurities is because they have previously been in a bad or abusive relationship.

Bad relationships, experience where you have been hurt, treated bad or cheated on, can stop you enjoying new relationships.

It only takes is one bad relationship experience to negatively affect your future relationship.

It is bad enough having your ex partner cause you all the hurt and pain, but you cannot afford to allow them to spoil and jeopardize your future happiness.

They may even put you off starting a brand new relationship,

What you have to ask yourself, are you going to believe and accept that every relationship that you have now or in the future is going to be the same as your bad experience. 

Bad memories can act as fuel for insecurities and negative thought patterns.

If you think that you have a bad memory that is the reason behind your insecurities and fears, then you do not have to let your bad memory rob you of the love, joy and happiness that a relationship can bring, and the happiness that you deserve.

The strong emotions, such as anger, anxiety, insecurity, suspicion and frustration, can cause you to  

  • Seek reassurance all the time 
  • Make you clingy 
  • Cause you to doubt and check up on your partner 
  • Lead to arguments 
  • Trying to figure out what your partner is up to 
  • Questioning the fact, has he/she gone off me or does he/she still love me
Feelings and emotions that are linked to insecurity can be very powerful and dictating if you allow them to simmer and gather momentum.

Because of these strong emotional drives, you won't be able to help yourself and you will probably end up saying things to your confused partner that you later regret or things that can damage your relationship.

If you feel insecure in your relationship, your mind will constantly search for evidence to back up your insecurities and your mind will find problems, even where problems don't actually exist.

Some of you may ask the question, there is no smoke without fire? 

So far we have focused on the person who feels insecure and pointed out how most of the time their insecurities are just a figment of their imagination, feelings of unworthiness or the after effects of a previous bad relationship experience.

But not all relationships are perfect and bad things do happen, sometimes there might be a valid reason for your worries, suspicion and concerns, even though most of the times you will probably be worrying over nothing.

Many experts only focus on the perfect scenarios, but sometimes you need to be able to deal with the imperfect situations, accept the worse case scenario, (But do not put up with it) to take you closer to having the perfect relationships.

We cannot totally ignore the fact, that there are some unscrupulous people who cheat, treat people bad or they spend just a bit too much time with their mates, at work or doing their hobbies.

Sometimes you may have to try and distinguish between your imagination, your ego, your insecure self and your intuition.

It is your intuition that you need to listen to and not your ego.

If bad things do happen to you, then do not allow anyone to diminish you or knock you down.

Let yourself know, that you're are amazing and great.

Sometimes you have to stop caring any more, to free yourself of all the inner pain, this does not mean that you should have to put up with being neglected, unappreciated or cheated on.

But for your own sake and peace of mind, you need to put a bit more focus on doing what is best for you and making the most of your talents, instead of beating yourself up all the time over your partner.

Your own happiness is the most important thing, and the reality is, others can hurt you, but only you can defeat and diminish you.

If you feel that you have been treated badly or unfairly, you need to avoid going rushing in with all guns blazing, just in case you have totally misjudged the situation or you overreact, when it is not justified.

When we feel our boundaries have been crossed or we have been treated badly, it is very easy to get hooked up into our negative emotions such as feeling angry or resentful.

Once you become engaged with your emotions and the stories in your mind, you will be heading for trouble and suffering.

Again, you need to make sure you don't allow your anger to simmer and gather momentum, until you reach boiling point.

If you have to confront your partner or deal with a situation you want to be able to think clearly and rationally, instead of going with your emotions.

At the onset of anger, again, embrace the emotion and let it run, until it passes, then when you're calm, you can analyze your situation, and deal with it calmly or let it go.

Stopping your past from ruining your now

Don't always judge your current partner or circumstances by your past negative or unpleasant experiences, otherwise you will live your now carrying the emotional pain and baggage of your past.

If you allow it, your negative past can rob you of your deserved right of feeling happy now and leave you feeling insecure about your future.

A typical insecure pattern of thinking can something like this

"My Husband/boyfriend-wife/girlfriend, left me- No men can be trusted!"

"I was cheated on by my lover, so you now stereotype all men/woman as being the same, so you convince yourself,  how can you ever trust any man/women again"

"My partner who I loved and who I have been with for a long time left me. Therefore, I will never allow myself to fall in love again, because you only end up getting hurt!"

This type of generalizing can leave you feeling guarded and it can prevent people from being able to trust and commit into forming a new loving relationship.

Merely because of all the fear and anxiety of making the same mistakes again, or you now have the attitude of, is it worth the risk of getting hurt again.

This can also lead you into putting up your barriers and maybe becoming a bit too defensive and judgmental.

Love is a very powerful emotion and driving force, it can be great when love is blooming and everything is running smoothly, but it can crush you and bring you down, when it goes wrong, or more importantly, even if you think it is going wrong.

You must not allow your past to prevent you from having a happy relationship, what you have to be aware of is, all people and circumstances are different, so try not to let what has happened in the past to condemn yourself to live an unhappy life.

We learn to avoid anything that might cause us emotional pain, but not everybody is the same, so why allow somebody else that is no longer a part of your life, to make your life unhappy now or in the future.

If you find that your relationship insecurities and anxieties are getting the better of you, then you might benefit greatly by learning how to manage those anxious thoughts that are fueling your insecurities.

Do your insecurities run deeper

If you are feeling insecure about your partner, then it can also force you to try and control them and get them to think and act how you want them to be.

Your insecurity in your relationship could be a by-product of some other deep insecurities that you still have about yourself that maybe you're not aware of.

It may be an indication that there may be many other parts of your life that are not reliable and it may mean that you do not have a very good relationship with yourself.

Life is full of insecurities and we often make the mistake of relying on material things such as our relationship, our jobs, money, and other material possessions to make us feel happy and secure.

This however is a recipe for disaster and hurt, because we are handing over all our power and happiness to others and other things and this breeds feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

Nothing in the physical world is guaranteed or secure and you can lose things at any given moment, including your partner. 

Because, if you allow your life to resolves around relying on your partner for all your happiness more than feeling good about yourself then this will breed insecurity.

Most people who are insecure in their relationship tend to hold many insecurities about themselves.

Many deep down, think that they are not good enough, worthy enough or deserving. 

If this is the case, then, it will need addressing, each morning and before you go to bed, stand in front of the mirror and say ten times, 
  • I am good enough 
  • I am worthy enough 
  • I like myself
Although you would like to have the certainty that you and your partner will live happily ever after, you simply cannot have that guarantee and if you totally rely on your partner to determine your happiness then you run the risk of a life of more emotional insecurity and suffering.

What you cannot ever lose though, is your ability to feel good regardless of any outside person, situation, thing or possession. 

You may stop together with your partner for the rest of your life, but this is not just about your relationship, it is also about you as well.

If you want to invest some time in feeling more secure and happy, then some of that time should be spent on working on feeling good about yourself and growing. 

Because the only thing that is ever secure is the love that your inner being has for you, and when you're feeling insecure your going against what your inner being knows is best for you, so make peace with yourself and your relationship will take care of itself. 

Learn to love and form a good relationship with yourself because your inner being is the only thing that you can truly rely on, and nothing can ever take that away from you.

What you do have full total control over is, your own happiness, your future, your thought processes and your feelings and it is equally important to love yourself as much as you love your partner.

Your relationship should not be the means to your happiness, your happiness should be the means to a great relationship.

You might want to ask yourself?

Are you just feeling insecure about your partner or do your insecurities run much deeper. 

Because there could be some other underlying insecurities that you hold about yourself that could be the root cause of your relationship insecurities.

This can be thinking that you're not worth or good enough or it could be a sign that you undervalue yourself or you have a low opinion of yourself.

It is equally if not more important to love and feel good about yourself than it is to devote all your feelings and love to just your partner.

There is no one more important to you than you, and learning to like, respect and appreciate yourself are necessary ingredients for having a wonderful and loving relationship and life.

It is great to be in a loving and happy relationship, but what matters the most to you is the love that you have for yourself.

It is not wise to totally rely on your partner to determine how you feel, because they will have their own mood swings, issues and problems to deal with.

Feeling insecure is unattractive and a bad way to live your life, you will be more attractive if you start to feel good about yourself and your partner will thank you for it.

Release your insecurities so you can begin to enjoy your relationship

To avoid conflict and to reduce your insecurities, have a conversation with your partner about the things that you both like doing. 

If there is something bothering you, do not bottle it up, talk to your partner, in a calm manner, about what it is that is bothering you.

Once you find out what they like doing, so long as what they are doing is innocent, don’t try to change or stop them. 

Many experts suggest that you make sacrifices in your relationship, but this can cause resentment and add more pressure.

So sometimes it is better, to allow them to do the things they enjoy, as long as it is not excessive, and as long as you both, spend some quality time together. 

At the same time, spend some time doing the things that you like and enjoy. You have not got to spend, all your time together.

The key is, to meet each other halfway, instead of trying to be with your partner, or to constantly want to keep tabs on them, all the time, just to ease your own insecurities and doubts.

When you begin to release your insecurities, and you let go of the need to control, monitor and you stop becoming so clingy, then you will free yourself up, to enjoy doing some of the things that you like, which should work wonders for your relationship.

You're only insecure because you seek certainty and you fear the consequences

One of the reasons why you're feeling insecure is because you think there is a consequence or a price to pay.

The consequences usually resolve around 

  • The fear that your relationship is breaking down 
  • The fear that your partners are having or they might have an affair
  • The fear they are losing interest in you

If you're feeling insecure about your relationship then there is little point in torturing yourself, perhaps it might help you to ask yourself?

Although you want to improve your relationship, if you can take away the consequences, by accepting the worse case scenario, and know that, you'll be fine, then you will begin to take away the fear.

Would it be the end of the world if your relationship broke down, because in some cases, people can find more happiness after they split up and they go on to find a more suitable partner or it leads to a better life. 

This does not mean that you should give up on your current relationship, but just by accepting that your relationship might end and you're OK with that, can ease some of your insecurities.

Anxiety is fuelled by the need for certainty, but you cannot always have the certainty that you're seeking. 

The need to have the certainty that you and your partner will stay together forever, can be the very thing that ends up destroying your relationship.  

If you accept, you cannot have the relationship certainty that you're after, but you let yourself know whatever happens, you'll be OK, then you will begin to take away some of those feelings of insecurity.

Then you will have taken a big step in dealing with your relationship insecurities, and the good thing is, because you will be feeling better you'll relationship will actually benefit from this.

You feel insecure because you cannot look beyond the consequences of a break up, and although you don't want to split up, by letting your mind know you can handle and cope with it you will actually be giving your relationship a much better chance to flourish and sparkle.

By accepting the worse case scenario and dealing with it, you will show to your mind that the consequences are not that bad, and if the worst scenario, did happen, you can handle it and it's not the end of your world.

Just by doing this it can calm you down, leaving you to focus on better things, and very often what you will find when you cease worrying and thinking about your relationship.

This will take all the stress and pressure off you and your partner, and you will probably find, that, your relationship will grow stronger. 

The breeding ground for anxiety and insecurity, is all the uncertainty, self doubting and the not knowing, but sometimes in life you cannot always have the guarantee you're seeking. 

But if you can reassure your mind that, you can come through, the breakdown of your relationship and you can still enjoy your life, then this will allow you to enjoy the time you have with your partner.

Letting go of your past

If you have been previously cheated on or you have been let down or hurt before, then this can drive and fuel your fears and insecurities.

One of the root causes of insecurity in relationships is having a negative past relationship experience.

If you have been hurt, deceived or cheated on in your past or your present relationship, then that is bound to make you feel a bit insecure because it is a very unpleasant and painful experience to endure and go through. 

There is usually an after effect of being cheated on, if it has happened to you before then you will be on your guard in the future, you will know how to spot all the signs so if a similar incidence occurs you will pounce on it straight away because of your now new suspicious mind. 

This is not your fault, you were not the one who cheated and because of all the hurt, then you naturally don't want it to happen again.

The only problem is, just because it happened once does not necessarily mean it will happen again. 

But our past bad relationships or our negative experiences in our current relationship can leave us feeling vulnerable or insecure.

Anxiety and insecurity thrive off the fear of something bad happening, but if you tame down the consequences, then you will cut off the fuel supply to your fears.

Anxiety and worry will rob you of living your life in the peace and happiness of the now, our bad experiences can make us live our lives in the past and they can make you afraid and insecure about the future. 

When you're feeling insecure and anxious then the part of your mind that deals with emotions will begin to increasingly exaggerate the risks and keep you stuck in a negative state of blowing up everything out of proportion. 

This is why it is just as important to solve your own insecurities and work on yourself as it is to work on your relationship. 

Insecurity is a form of anxiety and when you feel anxious your mind will search for reasons and meanings to validate your fears and insecurities

If you believe something to be true, regardless of whether it is true or false, then your mind will search for evidence to support those beliefs. 

If you don't know exactly what they're doing, it can make you suspicion, causing your mind to fill in the blanks.

This may cause you to constantly monitor your partner and question what they're doing, what you think is wrong or what they're up to. 

But remember you're not a mind reader so be careful not to read into something that is not accurate or even true because the human mind is very good at making things up.

This may lead you to constantly question and probe your partner and to seek reassurance that they still love you or everything is fine. 

Emotional Neediness And Being Addicted To Love

When you become too insecure in your relationships it can indicate that you have become addicted to love where you may have reached a point of coming across as too needy, clingy and desperate which can be very unattractive to your partner.    

Love is a very powerful emotion and it becomes even more powerful at times when you have become separate from a loved one or you think you're about to lose the love of your life. 

This can drive you to desperate measures and irrational thinking patterns, actions and behaviours.

Some of the reasons that can make you become addicted to love is because somewhere along the way you may feel some of your emotional needs were not properly met or you do not like or love yourself as much as you should.

This can cause you to seek constant reassurance and security from your partner because it is the only way you have to balance and stabilize their emotions.

You will often find that things will begin to improve when you start to love yourself and you begin to feel worthy. 

It is hard for us to be loved, if we don't feel worthy or deserving of love ourselves, and we can't feel worthy and deserving, without self love.

There is an old saying that states

"No one can love you more that you love yourself"

People will only give back to you, what you're prepared to offer to yourself. The truth is, the only person that can diminish you and pull you down, is yourself and your own feelings or unworthiness and insecurity.

When you, let go of your insecurities, and you develop a sense of unconditional self love, your life and your relationship, will change for the better.

People who are insecure, tend to go about things the wrong way around, and instead of loving themselves first, they depend on others loving them, to make them feel secure and happy.

The trouble, is when you go about it this way, you will always be looking for reassurance from others.

When you learn to love, value and appreciate yourself, then you won't need to rely on the love of others, to allow you to feel good.

You will know when you have truly found and cultivated self love, when you feel at peace with yourself and your life, regardless of what is happening, on the outside.

When you decide to love yourself, you will open up the doors and opportunities to be loved back.

What stops you from loving yourself, are all those feelings, that you're 
  • Not wanted 
  • Not lovable 
  • Not worthy enough 
  • Not deserving of love
  • Not good enough 
  • Not attract enough
  • A bad person 
  • I don't like myself 
These false types of damaging beliefs are not true and they don't belong to you, and they need to be changed to their polar opposites.

Start to make positive self statements that start with

"I love myself, because.... " (Fill in the blanks)

Channel Your Love In Other Ways

You cannot always rely and depend on your partner to give you the full undivided attention and emotional security that you seek. 

The reason being is, they are far to often tied up with their own issues and interests, so no one is going to devote all their attention and give you the love you want and you feel you need all the time. 

Love is a very powerful emotion to a point where the need to feel loved and wanted can start to disrupt your whole life where you might reach a point where you get to the stage where you're constantly yearning for love to much.

Maybe you have been hurt in the past or maybe you have lost someone you love and you are trying to recapture that love, connection and good times, perhaps you have been cheated on and that is driving your insecurities.

Your desire to be loved could stem back from your early childhood, perhaps you felt neglected or unloved when you were young and that has made you yearn and crave love now.

To make matters worse you may get envious of your friends and other people who you think are in a perfect relationship causing you to question, is there something wrong with you and asking yourself why does everything always go wrong for me. This can leave you stuck in a seemingly never ending negative cycle.

Before you can have a happy and secure relationship you need to have a good relationship with yourself first and if you're a person who craves to be loved then you should first start to channel some of your love in other directions including on yourself.

Turn your inner passion, love and creativity into pursuing your true purpose, many famous writers, artists and musicians use their inner feelings to drive them to success and do more things of the things you love.

You will often find that when you come to terms with your own insecurities and you be yourself and you put more attention into loving yourself and feeling good without having any external conditions attached then your life will start to improve.

Because when your relationship with yourself improves your relationship with your partner or the opposite sex will improve as well. 

And although your goal is to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with your partner is not going to be there all the time, so you need to enjoy and make the most of your free time and put it to good use instead of digging up your insecurities and torturing yourself.

Give Up The Need To Try To Control Everything

Your relationship insecurity can cause you to try to control your partner making you come across as bossy and to dominate

When people are insecure and because of its links to anxiety, it can cause you to want to have a feeling of certainty that everything will always be OK.

But unfortunately the need for certainty can lead to more worry, stress and tension and even anger which can cause even more problems in your relationship.   

You have to accept that you cannot have everything on your terms and the more you try and control your partner and your outside situations the worst you tend to make things.

It is far better to learn how to control your internal world and dialogue because when you master how to control your thoughts and emotions, then you will find that you will begin to calm down which will have a positive impact on your relationship.

Sometimes the insecure person will issue about their looks and their bodies and because they are insecure about their looks they will constantly look to their partners to seek approval and validate how good they look. 

Even when their partner tells them that they look great, the insecure partner will not accept the nice comments.   

They will often instantly dismiss or contradict the compliments by saying things like, no I don't, I look fat or I look ugly, this does not suit me. 

It can be very frustrating and annoying for your partner, especially when their compliments are genuine and sincere, so accept all the nice things they say to you.

Yet if you are happy with yourself and happy in your own skin you won't need or seek out reassurance all the time with your partner. 

The key is, accept what you cannot change and improve on the things you can.    

If you keep putting yourself down and being harsh on yourself, that is what will become your self image which eventually will become a part of you and your reality. 

So isn't it time you started being nice to yourself and when you love and accept yourself completely, then the good thing is you will begin to feel more secure in your relationship. 

Remember the thoughts you have about yourself and your relationships will determine your actions and decisions that can determine the future outcome of your relationship and your life. 

Trust Your Intuition, Not Your Imagination

Sometimes there may be a valid reason or you may have an underlying niggling suspicion about what your partner is up to or how they are treating you, perhaps they're behaving oddly or acting differently and this could be why you feel a bit insecure.

The trouble is, our mind hates the not knowing, so when we feel a bit insecure or unsure about something then our mind and our imagination will try and second guess and fill in the blanks for us.

The only trouble with our imagination is, it is not very accurate or reliable, most of the time it blows things out of proportion and it makes things up based on the information it is fed or the data it has collected from your previous experiences. 

When we believe something is not right, regardless of whether we're right or wrong, or if we believe what we think or suspect is true.

Then our mind will search for evidence to back up our claims and suspicions, things that conform to our beliefs. Our imagination will use this information as feedback and then it will just make things up by creating negative stories in our mind.

The things to remember is, do not always trust or follow your imagination, otherwise it will endlessly torment you and cause you grief and stress.

Try to listen to and follow your intuition rather than your imagination. If you find your imagination is starting to create a story in your head to match your uncertainty over a situation regarding your partner, then just pause for a minute or two, and say to yourself.

What am I creating here, what evidence or grounds in reality do I actually have to back up these beliefs and idea's. 

Then, instead of winding yourself up, take a break, go and relax and then reassess the situation or try and look at it from a more objective perspective or a different possibility or let it go. If you're still concerned, when you have calmed down, have a talk with your partner.

Trust In Yourself And Your Life

Trust plays a massive role in the success of a relationship, this means trusting your partner and learning to have trust in yourself and your unique qualities.  

Learn to believe and value yourself, trust everything always works out right if you get out of the way and you allow things to work out without you trying to control everything including your partner. 

Trust is vital if you want to end all your relationship insecurities, things that cause you to lose your trust are, being the victim of an affair and having a low opinion of yourself. 

Try not to get too jealous unless it is really warranted, especially if your partner talks, admires or looks at the opposite sex. 

Everybody talks to the opposite sex now and again.

Remember beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and they have chosen to be with you for a reason. 

You will have a developed a special bond between you and your partner, the moment you show your insecurities is the moment you will begin to chip away at that special bond.

If you have deep insecurities then you need to address them and the sooner you deal with your insecurities the better otherwise you run the risk of causing a breakdown in the trust you have with your partner which can in time cause an unrecoverable rift between you. 

It is far better to work on improving your relationship instead of trying to destroy all the good you already have. 

Some people who feel insecure in their relationships wrongly presume that their partners have lost interest in them especially if they spend a lot of time pursuing their interests or working long hours. 

Your partner and you should be allowed to enjoy doing their own things and being too possessive is a sign of insecurity.

But everybody should be entitled to do their own things and it does not necessarily mean they have lost interest in you and you can have separate interests yet you can still have a healthy and loving relationship.

Don't allow your own relationship insecurity and doubts from robbing you of a perfectly good and healthy relationship.


Overcoming Insecurity In Relationships


Finding Happiness 

Tap into your true spiritual happiness

Manage Your Anger

Learn how to deal with the root cause  of your anger

Reduce Your Stress

Start to  lower your stress levels and return back to inner peace

Positive Thinking

Enjoy the many health benefits of positive thinking 

 Meditation For Stress

Nearly all the most successful people relax for  twenty minutes a day 

Manage Anxious Thoughts

Stop fighting with your thoughts and learn how to quieten them

Overcoming Fear

Wise up to fear and learn how to tame and outsmart the beast

 Dealing With Worry

Worrying can effect your health and quality of life

Be More Successful

Tips on how to become more successful in your life

End Panic Attacks

Help to end panic attacks and general anxiety disorder

The Power Of Hypnosis

Use the power of hypnosis to tap into the software of your mind

New Years Resolutions

Out with the old and in with the new ideal and more happier you