How To Get Over Your Ex

There is no getting away from the fact that a relationship breakup can be very hard and painful to get over.

It is also of utmost importance that if you're going through a relationship split, that you seek help, so you don't do anything rash or foolish.

I know of many people who have committed suicide, shortly after their partner had ended their relationship.

The sudden, devastating news and the realization that your relationship or marriage is over. Or when your partner utters those heart wrenching words.

"I think that we need to talk or their is something that I need to tell you".

Can instantly bring about that sinking feeling and can evoke those painful and hurtful emotions, which take you from a place of happiness and contentment, to a dark and lonely place of hurt and sorrow.

You may feel as if your whole world is falling apart at the moment. But many couples get back together again, and even if is the end of your relationship.

No matter how hard it seems at the moment, things can and do get better and there is life beyond a broken relationship.

The reason why it hurts so much is because. The very thing that you love, desire and cherish, has just been taken away from you.

1) Accept the breakup

As much as it is hurting you. If you know that your relationship is over, then you have to accept it and accept that you have to move on.

Avoid the temptation to try and contact your ex partner, and do not ask them or plead with them to come back or have a discussion with them to try and work things out. 

Some people go into a denial stage, but you have to come to terms with the situation, that your relationship is over.

After an initial cooling off period. In many situations. There is a chance that you can get your ex back. A lot depends on the circumstances of the breakup. But avoid waiting and hoping that they will come back.

As painful as it is, it is best to accept that your relationship has come to an end, so you can begin to make plans for your new life.

2) Express the emotion

Once you have accepted that your relationship is over, express and release the emotion. Have a good cry and let it all out.

Many people will advise you to try and deal with your feelings and the breakup or try to get over it as quickly as you can.

But although you want to move on and get on with your life as quickly as possibly. In most cases, it is going to take time for you to overcome the loss of a loved one. 

Relationship breakups are painful, and there is no quick solution or a specific amount of time set, to allow you to get over them. 

Everybody is different, but time is a great healer and at some point you will get over your ex and find somebody new.

Depending on you. It may be better, not to try and immediately get over or deal with the strong feeling and bonds of love.

When you try and deal with your feelings or you attempt to try and suppress them or forget about your ex. You tend to think about them even more, and it can cause you to prolong the pain and heartache.

Again, accept that your relationship is finished. But you may find it easier, not to try and deal with your feelings and emotions. Just get on with your life as best as you can for now.

If you feel OK. Then you might just want to shut yourself away from the rest of the world for a few days, or spend some time with your friends and family.

Avoid turning to drink, especially in the first few days when you're feeling at your most vulnerable stage, as this is when people make sudden and rash decisions.

3) Get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex

A common thing that many people do after they have just broken up with their ex, is they look at or they keep things that remind them of their ex.

Such as photographs, written love notes, presents or any items of clothing that your ex might have bought you. You have not got to destroy them or give them away, just put them somewhere out of sight.

Avoid looking at their social media profiles and delete any photos or messages you might have on your social media sites.

As the saying goes. " Out of sight, out of mind"

Listening to sad love songs or songs that you associate with your ex, can also evoke feelings of sadness and loss.

If you're still living with your ex or you still see them around. Try not to reveal to them how you feel. The less contact that you have with your ex at the moment, the better.

If you do have to talk to them, just talk about everyday things. 

The best thing to do is to go your separate ways, and unless the breakup was a mutual thing, try and avoid any contact with them.

Do not blame yourself or apologize to them, unless you have done something really bad, and avoid trying to persuade them to give it another try or trying to get them to change their minds.

If at any point in the future, you do get back together, it has to be natural and on both of your terms.

4) Do not search for answers

There is no point in analyzing over and over, where your relationship went wrong or what you did wrong in an attempt to try and figure out the causes of your relationship split. 

Sometimes, when somebody leaves somebody, they could have made that decision weeks or months  ago. So you will never know for sure, when it all went wrong.

Also avoid, asking them why they left you or why it all went wrong. Trying to search for answers, won't get your ex back an it will just cause you more pain.

In the initial stage, it is very easy to blame yourself or for you to wish you has done things differently or wished you had changed.

Once you are over your ex and you have moved on or found someone new. Then you can learn from any mistakes, you've made, to try and better your new relationship and make it work.

5) Focus on other things

Once you have had a few days to accept your new reality, and maybe unplanned situation. The less time you focus on your ex the better.

Again, you should not try and force yourself not to think about him or her, because there will be times when they come into your mind. 

When this happens. It can help, if you don't try and push those thoughts out of your mind. Just allow your mind to think about them, feel the emotions, but don't get involved with the thoughts, stories or emotions.

It can help a lot if you put as much attention on to thinking about and doing other things, to help take your mind off your ex.

Find things to keep you occupied. If you feel like going out with your friends do that.  Pursue your hobbies and interests or do the things that you've always wanted to do. 

It could be the time to set yourself a goal or following your dreams and passion. The more you sit around doing nothing, the more you will think and mope about your house.

Things will get better, things will workout, if you allow it and you don't try and battle with or get rid of your thoughts and feelings, regarding your ex.

It may help you to ask yourself. Why would you want them, if they don't really want you. You're much better than that and you deserve someone, who wants you, values you and loves you for who you are.

6) You can find love again

You created just as much of the good times and the happy memories, and there is no reason why you cannot have the same connections, interactions and happy times again, with someone new.

Of course, there may be many other life changing circumstances to sort out. Such as finding somewhere else to live, and dividing material possessions and money, and for some, the stress of divorce proceedings. 

Which can add pressure to your already painful situation, so you may need some outside  help. But you have the inner strength and resources to come through this.

You have not got to rush in and instantly find someone else, before you're ready. Another thing to maybe avoid is, going with someone else just to try and make them feel jealous.

At some point you will probably feel like dating again. But it should only be, when the time is right for you. 

7) Removing painful memories

Although you can hide away all your physical reminders of your ex. What you cannot hide away or delete your own memories of all those happy times that you had with your ex.

Our happy memories can bring us much joy and happiness when we think about them. But when your ex leaves you, then those happy memories can turn into painful memories for you. 

All those, once happy memories can quickly turn sour and turn into hurtful and upsetting memories, constantly reminding you of all the love and happiness that you had, but you have now lost.

This can prolong your pain, because even though you have accepted that your relationship is over and you just want to forget about your ex and move on. 

Your memories of your ex are lingering on and keeping you focused on your ex, making you feel the hurt and loss, over and over again.

Going over the past and your ex can evoke strong and powerful, painful feelings and emotions. It is hard enough trying to come to terms with your relationship breakup. 

So the last thing that you want, is for your bad relationship memories, to carry on haunting you and causing you emotional hurt and suffering.

When people realize that focusing on their ex and all of the good times that they had together is causing them emotional hurt and sadness. 

They try their best not to think about them, but the more they try not to think about their past memories, the more these painful memories crop up.

Bad relationship memories can cause you a lot of emotional pain and upset, and they can prevent you from forming new happy and loving relationships.

Carry your old emotional baggage with you into your next relationship, they can even put you off finding someone else, because of the fear of the same negative experiences and pain happening again.

If you're really struggling with getting over your relationship, and you want to clear the past, so you can move on. 

Then you might benefit tremendously by erasing your bad relationship memories, so you can free yourself from all the pain.

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