- What they look like,
- What cloths they're wearing
- What hairstyles they have
- Not good enough
- Not smart enough
- Not capable enough
- They do not doubt themselves
- They only know two fears, which are the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling
- They have bags of self belief and self enthusiasm
- They focus on the now
- They have no insecurities
- Smart enough
- Worthy enough
- Good enough
- Capable enough
- Encourage them
- Let them be themselves
- Let them daydream and create their future
- Let them follow their desires
- Support them
- Praise them
- Acknowledge their self worth and self value
- Show them plenty of love and appreciation
- Make them feel special
- Allow them to express themselves
- Applaud them when it is justified
- Point them in a positive direction
- Listen and try to understand them
- Be proud of them
- Learn them to love and appreciate themselves
- Make them feel guilty
- Physically or verbally abuse them
- Treat them bad
- Be nasty to them
- Make them look foolish
- I can do it
- I can handle it
- I can learn to
- I have the ability to
- It is easy for me to
- Whatever happens I'll be OK
- How great the are
- How special they are
- How smart they are
- How capable they are
- And so on
A child's self image and their self esteem levels, which are the backbone for their confidence are shaped by their their early childhood experiences.
Their self image is shaped by the beliefs they have learned and the perceptions they had installed into them in their formative years by their parents, teachers and society.
This is why it is a good idea to fill your children with positive beliefs that are going to help and support them, because it is very easy to pass on our own outdated and limiting beliefs to our children.
When a child forms a negative and poor self image of themselves it can lead to low self esteem which can and probably will go on to lead to future times of suffering with anxiety, depression and self imposed limitations.
Get it right though in the early years and your children will almost certainly have a much better chance to go on to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Young children are totally dependent on their parents in the early years, they listen to, and absorb their parents every word.
At this stage of their development they need all the help, love and encouragement they can get, because a confident child equates to a happy, successful and outgoing child who will be able to handle and cope with life's challenges and pressures much better than a shy and under confident child.
Be cautious but not too over protective
Although your child's safety should come first, they need to know what's dangerous and what is not, because sometimes as parents we can be a little bit overprotective.
There is a difference between being cautious and sensible and being over protective. Children need to learn to fend for themselves to a degree as long as there is no risk to the child safety, they should also be praised for being brave.
Children tend to model their parents behaviors and personalities,
So if you are confident and happy in their presence, then this will rub off on them, they also pick up on their parents' worries, bad habits and fears so, try and be careful not to pass on your fears to your children.
Children mimic their parents, try and act confident and happy in front of them, try not to reveal any of your own insecurities and fears in their presence.
For instance, if a mother screams at a spider the child will associate the spider with danger and inherit the fear of it, the same applies to any other fear.
When children are taught and encouraged to grow up to be a confident person who has an optimistic and positive mental attitude then they will go on to live a much more enjoyable and rewarding life.
They will excel more in every area of their life, they will have the inner resources to handle all of life's challenges better which inevitably they will have to face along their way through their journey of life.
The under confident child and the confident child
A child who is shy and lacks confidence will turn out to be more introverted, they will find it harder to communicate, this can lead to becoming more self conscious of themselves.
They may struggle to perform new tasks and avoid volunteering for
Low confidence in children will cause them to have a lack of self belief in themselves, this can restrict them in many ways including, meeting and talking to the opposite sex, shying away from going for promotions at work.
It can also cause them to play safe in life, they may lack social skills and only say what they have to in social gatherings, some shy teenagers will go on to use alcohol as a substitute for confidence.
They can also fear being the center of attention which can lead to social anxiety related issues.
On the flip side the confident child will go on to enjoy all then splendors of life. Their self confidence in themselves will make them more bold, courageous and assertive, they will be more extrovert and out going, they will be more successful both career wise and socially.
They will have better communication skills which is a huge advantage, confident children become confident adults, this will make them more positive and optimistic, they will mix better and find it easier to approach and interact with the opposite sex.
They will perform better at every thing they do or attempt and generally they will be more successful in all departments, the confident child will go on to be the winner in life.
A child who is confident will find it easier to try new things and make friends easier.
Limit your children on digital devices
These days, more and more children are living sedentary lives, spending a lot of time gaming or using electrical devices.
It is good idea to limit the amount of time you allow your children on computer gaming or electrical devices.
As this can cause them things like slouching and text neck, plus it is not good for your child to spend to much time sitting down.
If your child plays video gaming devices.
Then, make sure they have plenty of breaks and make sure they drink enough water. Because it is very easy for a child to forget, as they get to engrossed in what they're doing.
Playing video games for long periods is not good for your child's health.
Because they are being constantly bombarded by action pact graphic images and sounds.
What this means is.
The child's nervous system will respond to the sounds and moving images on the screen, with symptoms of stress and the constant release of adrenaline.
This is not a good combination, especially as the child is remaining still, so they are not even burning off that excess energy.
One way to take advanatage of technology is to get them a computer subliminal messaging software.
This can be put on whilst they're on their computers and because it is unobtrusive and they don't need to do anything it won't bother them.
Encourage your children to engage more in outdoor and physical activities.
Reading, painting, art and taking part in other creative activities can really benefit your children in the long run.
Learn them not to care what to much about what other people say or think about them.
It is also important to learn them how to take a joke and not to take themselves too serious, encourage them to be positive and optimistic.
Building a child's confidence requires a combination of many different things, including the way they think, positive self talk and the actions they take.
Another thing to watchout if you have young boys is:
These days there is more and more explicit sexual content available on the internet.
Recently. I was listening to a doctor on the radio who was saying that she was getting more and more teenage boys coming to her with, erectile disfunctions.
According to the doctor.
When young boys watch these explicit, moving videos.
They can hardwire their brains and body to respond to the video's.
A normal teenager. Would naturally learn to respond to a girl, through the use of all of their senses.
The importance of positive self talk
Your children need to be taught how to say positive and good things about themselves, they need to know that when they are nice to themselves they will feel better and they will become more successful.
Teach them that their thinking can play a huge part in how well they do things and what they become.
Let them though that their brain listens and responds accordingly to everything they say, even if it is said in jest so they should only think or say good things about themselves.
Get them to tell themselves things like, how awesome they are, how worthy and capable they are, how good, they are
They also need guiding that when they say bad things about themselves or when they think about negative things it will make them feel bad,
Get them into the habit of praisi
Actions and activities
Although learning them to think positive and seeing themselves confident is an important confidence and self esteem boosting tool it is only part of it.
Positive thinking should be backed up by taking
Getting them to take part in social activities is an excellent way to improve their social skills and development.
They need to know that if they feel a bit nervous or anxious that's OK, so they should still go ahead and do the things they want, because we all learn from and we are all affected from our experiences both good and bad.
This is why they should be made aware, that it is better to try even if it does not go well the first time than it is not to try at all.
Let them know it's alright to make a mistake or show themselves up, but it
Enrolling your child in acting and drama classes can be of great help because it will prevent them becoming afraid of being in the spotlight.
It will also make them better communicators and help them to be more confident speaking in front of a group of people. Joining a martial arts class can also do wonders for their self confidence.
Adapting to school life can be a big step for children
Listen to their fears and concerns and talk to them, always be understanding and give them plenty of advice and support, no matter how trivial their problems may seem to you, because what seems trivial to an adult may go on to be a major ordeal to child.
Some of the key time in children's lives is when they leave their parents for the first time and start primary school, starting secondary school and starting employment for the first time.
It can be a good idea to start them off at nursery school as soon as possible to learn them how to interact with other children, it will also get them used to being separated from being too dependent on their parents.
Starting primary school can be a traumatic time for some children, they are thrust from the security of their mother into a whole new and sometimes scary environment.
So the more help and support you can give them the better, this is a time when children's self-confidence is of utmost importance.
Changing and moving to secondary school can also be daunting for some children, especially if they are shy or young
They go back to being the youngest in the school and they have to mix with some children who have almost reached adolescence The maturity and physical gap between year 6 and year 11 is enormous.
According to research it is best not to be too pushy by involving them in too many activities like swimming, dancing, sports etc.
Because although it is important to learn them to swim and take part in sports some experts believe that overdoing the amount of activities and not spending enough time interacting and playing with other children can stifle children's confidence, imagination and independence.
Correct your children but do not criticize them
Try not to criticize your child, this does not mean being firm with them when necessary, but it is much more beneficial to correct your child rather than overly criticize them.
Children can be very sensitive and can absorb all the criticism, also parents need to lead by example and avoid being self-critical of themselves in front of their children.
When an adult is towering over a child and criticizing or continually shouting at them it can be daunting and frightening to that child, to a young child it can seem like facing an angry giant.
Also try not to shame or embarrass them in front of others or put them down as this can dent their confidence and self-esteem, and sometimes just because we are having a bad day we tend to take it out on
Talk to them about their problems then they will start to listen and sometimes they are crying out for help and guidance, but they can feel embarrassed or they do not know how to ask for help and they feel that their issues are silly.
It is all too easy to become frustrated with your child because they are not living up to your expectations or they are having difficulties learning.
Having patients and giving your children some love whilst at the same time finding time to show some interest with their hobbies can be a great way of bonding, and children love to feel wanted.
If you have more than one child try not to show any favoritism or pay too much attention to one more than the others, many a times the older child can feel neglected and unwanted when all the attention is put on to the younger child.
Allow some time with your kids because they don't understand if you feel tired, try and be patient with them because their world is different to ours.
Encourage your children to join in with the conversation, especially when in the company of other adults otherwise they can easily feel left out of things.
Why children can Lose their confidence
Children lose their confidence through a numerous of reasons, this can be from low self-esteem because they may have been teased for how they look, being bullied, embarrassed, shown up, or isolated at school or
Low confidence in children can be from a lack of support and help in their early years or from constant criticism and being put down. One of the biggest fears stems from public humiliation or rejection.
The pressures sometimes thrust on children to pass exams can cause unneeded anxiety and stress, rejection and not feeling loved or belonging to close network of friends can also take its toll on them. Being teased mercilessly by older brothers, sisters or other children can lower their confidence.
Feeling they are not worthy or good enough can lower their self esteem, if they believe something is wrong with their bodies or looks this can chip away at the confidence levels.
To build children's self-confidence it is important to teach them the right thinking skills.
Tap into your true spiritual happiness
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Out with the old and in with the new ideal and more happier you