How To Overcome Adversity And Come Back From Disapointments And Defeat

You cannot escape the fact that no matter who you are, at some point in your life you're going to come face to face with your own personal difficulties, problems, tough times, bad situations or you will receive some bad or distressing news.

Like a thunderstorm, adversity will at times come your way, and although there are many things that you can do, to prepare yourself and make yourself better equipped at handling and getting through and over adversity, nobody can completely avoid it.

Adversity is not just about the real bad news that we all experience, it can be seen as anything that is regarded as negative, and sometimes adversity can strike completely out of the blue.

So when adversity and difficult times show up in your life, and one thing is for sure, it is inevitable from time to time. What can you do to help you overcome it?

What you can do is, you can teach yourself how to manage adversity and setbacks, so you will, learn to deal and cope with it much better than you did in the past, and you can quickly bounce back and come back stronger.


We are all far much better equipped at overcoming adversity than most of us might have thought. However, for some, adversity can take them down into a deep dark and painful place.

Although real bad news like a bereavement, trauma or abuse will take time to heal, and may require professional help. 

Sometimes personal setbacks, failures and disappointments can be a message and a lesson for us to learn, to grow, to rise up to and step up to the challenge, so we can advance, get motivated, become more ambitious and become better and stronger.

As it is impossible to avoid adversity, the best outcome is to bounce back as quickly as we can so we overcome it with the least amount of pain and in the shortest duration period that is possible for you, so you can learn to deal with adversity a lot better than you might have done in the past.

8 tips to help you get over adversity

1) Release the emotion

When adversity strikes or if you are struggling to deal with personal issues or outside influences, do not try to hide it or suppress your emotions.

If you're feeling pain, if life is getting you down or you're going through a difficult time, then have a good cry, just release the emotion and let it go.

Have an early night, speak to someone, exercise, go for a walk in nature, take a break from what you're doing, treat yourself or do something that will help you to relax deeply.

Then make a vow to yourself that you will come through this situation or this difficult period is only temporary, and there will be a silver lining or only good will come out of this situation.

2) Accept what is

Before you can move forwards in a new and positive direction, then you might have to accept what is and deal with your current adversity or difficult times.

There are some things that we have control over, but sometimes certain things and situations are not in our control. 

Either way, once something has gone bad or wrong, then we have to accept what is and our current reality and situation, then we need to bounce back, escape the situation or move forwards as quickly as possible.

Accept that you cannot always change or control some people or some situations, but also be aware of the fact, you can control how you react, how much energy and focus you give, how you allow it to influence you, and what action or perspective you take.

Although the initial thing, circumstance, bad news or problem can be emotionally painful and upsetting, once it has happened, it cannot hurt you again, unless you allow it to.

From then onwards, all the emotional hurt, anger or upset will come from the follow on thoughts that you have about the situation and how you react after, how you let it bother, how much attention you give it or how you or perceive your future.

So once you have released your emotion, the next step is to accept and give into what is and try to deal with the worst case scenario, then make it your goal to come back stronger.



3) Have Faith

When outside influences upset you, or your challenges seem insurmountable, then you can either sink or swim or carry on or give in, or dwell on the issue or turn it round in your favour and to your advantage.

When you feel down and out, when you feel weak and vulnerable, when all the doors of opportunity seem to be slammed shut, then it is time to be aware that you still have one more hand to play and that is to have faith and optimism.

Because it is so easy to fall into a downward spiral of doom, gloom and a feeling and sense of hopelessness, so rather than take that unpleasant and fruitless route, decide to take matters and your future into your own hands.

Because faith can get you over any problem, it can steer you through any obstacle and lead you to where you want to go, and no amount of negativity or pessimism is a match for faith and optimisms.

So have faith in your ability that you will turn your negative or upsetting situation around, and even though you have not got to figure things out right away, you will figure things out, everything will be OK.

Let you know, that you have come through tough times in the past, and although you are hurting or suffering at the moment, you will turn things around and everything will turn out right and you will overcome it.

With the power of faith and optimism at your disposal, let you know, even though you may be suffering right now, that you will do all that is required to move yourself through your difficult situation and take you to a much better feeling place.

Try not to see your adversity as an end of the world moment, but more of a chance to reflect on you and your current situation and even try to view it as an opportunity for something better to be born.

4) Manage your thought processes

The correct procedure for overcoming adversity or getting well and back to your best should always be aimed at bouncing back as quick as possible before the negativity trap starts to gain momentum and become your dominate emotions and physical state.

Correct thinking and having a positive and upbeat attitude despite your current difficulties is of utmost importance.

This should involve being aware of any negative thoughts or outside influences, and the attitude of, this is how it is at the moment, but things will get better as well as guarding yourself of any negative thoughts will play an important role in a quicker recovery.

Because negative emotions in the form of worry, anxiety, anger, frustration, disappointment, resentment to name a few, will result in stress, more negative emotions, limitations and it will prolong your pain and suffering.



5) Ask for help

If you're really struggling or going through a very difficult or traumatic event, you have not got to suffer alone, so do not be afraid to ask for help.

There are many ways that you can ask for help, you might want to seek the advice from a professional, such as your doctor or a counselor.  

You can confide in a friend, a family member or your partner if you have one. Another option is to join a forum which is related to your problem or difficulty so you can discuss things with others who are going through or have come the same problem

Prayer is another form of asking for help and guidance, because talking to someone can help you let it all out, and remember you're never alone.

Ever since humans came into existence, they have faced huge adversity and struggles, but as a species with have conquered, evolved and grown from our challenges and difficulties.

6) Plan for a better future

When adversity strikes, even though it may seem like a big blow to you, try to keep a positive mind and attitude, let you know, that this is a difficult time or situation. 

But it is only a temporary setback and I am not going to allow it to ruin my mood, because all suffering passes if you are willing to allow it to and you choose to let it go.

Sometimes life can be hard, but what's done is done, and you cannot change what has happened so you will gain nothing by holding onto your misery, miss-fortune or dwelling on your bad luck.

Make it your intention to rise back up a better and more resilient you, because you are far more resilient than you might have thought. 

Reflect on your life at the moment, forget about what is or what has happened and start to make plans for a better future



7) Processing the emotions and moving forwards

It does not matter who you are, everybody gets days or times in their lives when they come face to face with adversity, setbacks and failures.

Bad things do happen to us all, and although you cannot completely avoid adversity, what is essential is, learning how to turn failure, disappointments and defeat into positivity and success.

Bad days are an inevitable part of life, and when you have a bad day or you feel like your whole world is falling apart or your goal is collapsing, then you simply cannot override these difficult times with positive thoughts.

Although positive thinking is a big part of being successful, you need to put it aside for the time being whilst you process the negative emotions.

Sometimes you have to go through it, to come out the other side a wiser, stronger and more resilient you.

Because when things are going bad, and you feel frustrated, sad, disappointed or stressed, then trying to positively think your way out of these negative states, is probably not going to help you, especially if you have a lot of negativity going on.

When you feel sad and defeated, it can make you feel like giving up on your goals and trying to do better in your life.

This can leave you feeling defeated, unmotivated and disempowered, and you might ask yourself, what is the point in trying.

If you're not careful then you can soon slip into the why me, victim mentality.

If adversity has struck, do not try and fight it or suppress it, just accept what has happened, and allow the feelings and the situation to pass by itself.

Take some time out, to pamper yourself, do something that you enjoy, read a book, go for a walk in nature or meditate and relax, so you can cease the negative momentum.

During adversity or challenging times, you want to acknowledge how you feel, then feel the emotion and let them pass.

Because, before you can overcome a problem or a bad situation, you have to feel and process the emotions, only then can you move on.

There are times to think positive, but we also need to learn how to be more resilient and stronger at times of adversity or when you're down on your luck.

Training yourself to surrender to adversity, accept the bad times, and just allow the thoughts and feelings to flow through you and away, instead of engaging in all those negative emotions and doom and gloom stories of your mind, will stop all the negative momentum.

It is a good lesson in life to learn how to react to a bad situation, with the attitude of, it is not the end of the world and you will be OK, as this will help you to deal better with future failures, adversities and setbacks.

You cannot always control your situations, but you can control how you choose to react to them.

When adversity strikes, you're going to feel down and bad, therefore you have not got to try and justify how you feel.

When people are told that they must feel positive all the time, when things do go wrong or bad, they can feel that they must remain positive and upbeat, some can even feel guilty or bad about feeling disappointed or frustrated, especially in this age of you must feel positive.

Of course, you want to get that positive mindset and feelings going again as soon as possible, but you cannot jump from feelings of adversity, frustration, sadness and disappointment to feeling full of joy, optimism and positivity in one move, without processing those negative emotions first.

So acknowledge the negative feelings, feel them and allow them to come through you and away, then once you have processed the emotion, then you can decide on what you want to do.

If things have gone bad for you or you have experienced a setback or disappointment, then be honest with yourself.

Let you know that, I am disappointed, this is not how I wanted things to go, you expected better, you wanted thing to go better and you feel you deserved better.

At this point, allow that bad feeling moment to have its time.

Have a rant, moan or cry, and let out those negative emotions and then release them and move on in a positive and optimistic attitude and mindset.

Give yourself a treat to pick yourself up, or meditate or relax deeply, have a long soak in the bath, go for a walk, or do something that you enjoy,  just to break up the negative momentum.

Then, once you have accepted the situation and you have felt the emotions, and you're feeling better, then start to shift to a solution or problem solving mindset, and put all your energy and focus on to trying to figure things out and make things better.

Instead of beating yourself up, see if you can learn  a valuable lesson from your setback or failure.

8) Take action

Once you are feeling better and more optimistic, then if it is required, you might need to take physical action to better your situation and life.

The last thing you want is to dwell on your negative situation or experience.

Analyze your bad experience and start to focus on what you can learn from it, ask yourself, could you have done things differently or better.

Keep trying to learn something, and see if you can take any positive from the negative experience.

Devise a new plan and strategy that is going to take you to where you want to be.

Try and figure out, why you felt defeated, ask yourself some soul searching questions, like, what did you learn from your negative experience, what did you learn about yourself, and what can you do about it and how can you make things better.

You can also ask yourself, how other people affected you and what did you learn from others, your failure or your setback.

Then make a vow to yourself, that something good is going to come out of your adversity.

When the storm clouds have passed, then it may be time to cease the moment to make things happen or to create or take advantage of new and exciting opportunities, or to develop new ideas and opportunities from within. 

Because if you do nothing or if you just wait and hope for things to get better by themselves, or if you do not use your adversity to catalyst and drive you to better things, then the chances are things might not really improve that much. 

Just by taking daily action steps, even they are small and simple, will move you forwards in a positive direction and help you become a better version of you.

Your current or past adversity or issue may be painful and difficult, but unless you take action steps each day to handle it and put it behind you, then it will continue to cause you grief and pain. 

Do nothing or trying to suppress or blank out your difficulties will only lead to more suffering and future heartache, but by taking daily action steps and sticking to them or working through your adversity with a positive attitude, will lead you to a better quality of life.



 

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