Banishing Woman's Insecurity And Inject A New Sense Of Meaning And Purpose To You And Your Life
Does the thought of you getting older get you down or does the thought of not looking your best when you're out make you feel bad?
You can spend ages putting on makeup, having your hair done and buying nice clothes, but if you have low self esteem or you're insecure on the inside, it will not matter to you.
The reality is, you cannot cover up your insecurities with makeup, hair do's or nice clothes. Of course, looking good will help you feel good, but alone, they are not the solution.
Because it is important to take good care of yourself on the outside, but that is nowhere near as important as taking good care of yourself on the inside.
Therefore a bit of me time which should involve a good health plan, a good diet and healthy way of living. Can do wonders for you and you looks as can relaxing and reducing your stress
But always, remember. You are way much more, than just your looks and body.
Feel good about yourself, without a reason
Many women you speak to or here, say they love shopping especially when they are buying clothes, makeup, jewellery, shoes and handbags.
The reason why a lot of woman love to buy clothes and others personal items is because they say it makes them feel better.
The trouble is those good feelings are only short lived and it is not long before they feel the need to go shopping again to help them feel good.
This can soon become a repeated pattern of behavior. However, it does not solve the underlying root cause of why they feel they have to shop to make them feel better.
In the end you can end up with more clothes, shoes and handbags than you could ever possible find the time to wear them.
This need to shop also indicates that many women are feeling insecure or they are not feeling very good with themselves or their lives.
Having to buy clothes to make you feel good about yourself doesn't address the real underlying root cause of the problem nor does it resolve your feelings of insecurity.
I think part of the problem stems from the fact that many woman, due to all the pressure they feel is put on them by society.
Feel they need to look a million dollars all the time or they feel under pressure to try and stay forever young.
From a very early age girls are conditioned to belief that they always have to look pretty, but this can put to high standards on young and very impressionable girls.
Looks are secondary, it is how you perceive yourself and feel about yourself from within that really matters.
If you truly like, accept and appreciate yourself from within and you feel happy within regardless with what is going on in your outside world.
You will banish all those feelings of insecurity and unworthiness and you will replace them with feelings of confidence, inner power, pride and love and the world will treat you bad.
For those who carry on hating themselves, disapproving themselves or comparing themselves negatively to others, will spend a life of struggle and being unhappy.
The funny thing is:
Once you stop caring about your looks or getting older and once you begin to accept yourself as you are and you start to let go of all your suffering..
If you also take good care of yourself and if you eat healthily and get plenty of rest and activity. Then you can slow down the aging process and you will automatically begin to look and feel better.
You are good enough the way you are, you always have been and you always will be
These days, woman are constantly bombarded with pictures and images of photoshopped glamor models or glamorous TV actress or movie stars.
Sadly this is the way society has become and with all the ever growing pressures on young girls and woman to look great all the time.
Therefore, It is no wonder so many woman and young girls feel insecure and not good enough on the inside.
These days, many women suffer with inner insecurities and often most of their insecurities are driven by the thoughts and feelings that they are not good enough or they are not attractive enough.
Body conscious issues are also causing many girls and woman to feel insecure or not good enough.
Some girls may have been bullied or teased about their looks. Whilst others may have made negative comments and suggestions, which can fuel feelings of insecurity or feeling like you don't measure up.
Although we can work on toning our body and getting into peak shape. We sometimes have to accept the things that we cannot change and work on changing the things we can.
The truth is there is so much more to you than just your outer looks and you have so much to offer the world.
The key is to accept and be happy with yourself on the inside.
Other people can hurt your feelings, but the only person that can really diminish you, is yourself.
Because you have the ability to dismiss or not care about what others say and you have the ability to empower yourself and do great things.
Always remember. It is your opinion about yourself that really matters.
If you fill your mind with positivity about yourself, you feel happy with yourself, you believe in yourself and you unleash your limitless, true powers and ability.
Then no one, will be able to disempower you ever again and nothing or nobody will be able to stop you from living a happy, fullfiling and wonderful life.
The importance of being happy within
Recently there was a lady speaking on the radio. Who had spent a large part of her adult working life, working in the TV department.
The lady told the listeners in an heartwarming but sad interview.
How unhappy she had been for many years now because of all the male and society pressure to look good.
This had caused her to believe that she had to look good and forever stay young looking.
The lady had felt she was under constant pressure to always look good on TV and what she described was a largely, male dominated environment.
The lady claimed that her life had resolved around spending many hours every day.
Having her hair done, putting on her makeup, getting ready and having to wear the best clothes.
She said, this rigorous routine combined with all the stress of having to always look good had deprived her of a normal and happy life and it had made her feel very unhappy and miserable.
On top of all that. Because of all the pressure to look good. She also had the added fear of getting old, which said was making her feel very unhappy. Just so, she could look good.
She stated that the never ending need and self obsession to stay young and look good all the time.
Not only made her feel very unhappy and insecure. She also said that she could never truly be her real authentic fun and happy self.
The lady also told complete opposite story about her elderly but very happy mother who had lived a happy and carefree life, free of all the emotional suffering, stress and sadness.
Her happy go lucky mother who although, she had lead a normal ordinary life. She was always very happy and content with herself within and she made the most of her life on the outside.
Without feeling the need to succumb to the pressures and error thinking of society.
The reason for this is because her mother accepted herself, she was happy within and she had not set herself a high standard that was just to difficult and stressful to live up to.
Sometimes we live our lives by the standards we set ourselves and if you set yourself a high a standard to keep up then it is going to make your life a struggle and misery.
The moral of this story. Is, why fight nature, why fight yourself.
When you can go with the flow, be yourself and you can enjoy your life.
Her mother never had the pressure of having to look good all the time nor did she create a fear of getting older.
This mindset and attitude had set her from all the emotional stress, insecurity and suffering.
The key is to accept yourself and live your life how you want to live it. You can still wish to look your best, but stop caring what others think.
If you like and accept yourself for who you are then you won't feel the need to wake up early every morning to cover yourself with makeup and spend ages getting ready,
Give yourself permission to be the real you, so you no longer feel the need to hide away the real you.
When you feel you need to hide yourself away under a pile of makeup then you're really telling yourself that you're not good enough or attractive enough, which is absolutely not true.
She said her mother had always told that the key to really happiness was to be happy with yourself and be happy within.
Letting go of your negative past
It is not just our looks that can make us feel insecure, because our bad or negative experiences can leave us with mental scares and a fear of the same bad thing from happening again.
Previous bad relationships can put us of forming new ones and our past negative, upsetting, abusive or embarrassing experiences can erode our self esteem, self worth and self confidence.
The thing to remember is the past does not represent the future and it is important to learn how to let go of your painful past, so you can reset the button and move forwards in a new and exciting direction.
When we hold onto our emotional baggage, we feel defeated and beaten.
Whatever is bothering you, let it all go, trust everything will be fine and know, whatever happens, you'll be OK.
Living in the negative emotions of your negative past will cause you to fear the future and it will make you feel bad and if you allow it to, then it can define you in many self defeating, self limiting and self destructive ways.
Your past can shape you and upset you, but don't ever allow it to define you.
If you want to feel fine, if you won't to feel good and if you want to be the very best version of you.
Accept, what has happened, accept what is and surrender to whatever is bothering you. Then, let it go.
Dismiss or change and negative thoughts and make it a habit to keep your thoughts positive.
Because it has long been written about the relationship between our thoughts, beliefs and the life and outcomes that we desire.
Sometimes it is not always that easy to change your long held limiting and negative beliefs. Very often, the harder you try to change your negative beliefs the harder it becomes.
It is important to stop allowing your negative thoughts and beliefs from causing you any more damage and suffering, but many people struggle to shift or break them.
Because limiting and negative beliefs can disempower you, hold you back and destroy your self esteem.
If you're struggling to change your negative beliefs, then sometimes a better approach is to try and challenge them or reframe them. Because if you can change your beliefs then you can change your life.
Your beliefs are formed by your life experiences and how you have come to perceive yourself and your reality.
Our beliefs shape the stories that we tell ourselves and the stories we tell ourselves. Define us, our behaviors, our actions our outcomes and our reality.
Many of our negative beliefs are formed or programmed into us when we are young and we never change them or update them when were older, even though they hold us back or make us feel anxious or insecure.
Our negative beliefs can trick us into thinking somethings dangerous when it is not or they can prevent us from creating a better future because of the fear of something that happened to us in the past, happening again.
Our limiting belis can also trick us into thinking were not good enough, smart enough or capable enough, when we really are.
Sometimes why it can prove so hard to change your toxic beliefs is because you don't feel it. When your beliefs are tied and messed up with your emotions and your subconscious programming,
Then it can be hard to feel good about yourself and you might find it better to change the feelings rather than use logical thinking.
Because, if you don't feel attractive, if you feel unloved, if you don't feel good enough or you don't feel happy with yourself.
Then thinking positive or just trying to change the negative belief about yourself, probably won't work that well.
When your beliefs are all hooked up to your emotions, programming and impulses, then even if you locically know that they aren't true or rational.
They will still carry on controlling and dictating you, your motivation, how you feel and think about yourself and what you do or become.
Our emotions and beliefs are very powerful and even when you know they are not true or accurate.
If you believe them and you allow the feelings and compulsions to continually control your actions and behaviors, then you will end up living your life by your negative beliefs, even if you know their a load of nonsense.
Just because you fear that, your internal feelings, insecurities and perceptions, might come true.
The real truth is. Our negative beliefs and feelings are often a prediction of our imagination.
That are based on our negative past and not necessarily on whether in actual reality, these assumptions, perceptions or statements are true or false.
Our mind uses our past experiences and what we have learned in the past to try and gauge how we should think, feel and behave in the future.
Crippling and damaging negative beliefs that are tied up with negative feelings and emotions create perceptions and imaginings of fear, insecurity, negativity and hopelessness.
People don't think that they are a bad person or they don't have the ability to learn and better themselves. They think these negative assumptions, because they feel it.
To change a belief, you first have to change the emotion
Changing you focus of attention and challenging and changing your beliefs can shift you out of that narrow focus of attention that is fuelling and intensifying those damaging and depressive feelings and emotions.
Acceptance and not caring too much can also help to reduce the emotional intensity.
When you first had your negative emotional experience.
For example. If you were bullied, physically or mental abused, hurt, embarrassed, humiliated or ashamed.
Then you mind will be conditioned and shaped, by that unpleasant emotional experience.
When that negative experience fuses with negative beliefs and feelings. Then you can become strongly conditioned and influenced by that hurtful or bad experience.
This can lead you into forming negative self imposing and self limiting, destructive beliefs and opinions about yourself.
These negative beliefs can for many years negatively influence and effect you in many self defeating ways.
Because of the strong emotional attachment. These strong emotionally fueled beliefs can cause a narrow and distortive negative focus of attention and they can have a hold on you for many years to follow.
This can cause low feeling moods, insecurity, anxiety and depression which can affect the way you perceive and interact with the world.
Years later, you can still feel unloved, unworthy, not smart enough, not good enough, not confident enough or scared all the time.
Just because of your negative beliefs and the feelings that are associated with those bad experiences or hurtful comments and suggestions.
Once you allow yourself to break free from your past emotional trauma and you finally realize that you are worthy and good enough to live a happy, fulfilling and good life then you will be free to be your true authentic and most wonderful self.
When our mind is first stimulated by a limiting and fearful emotional state and negative experience.
Our mind can become so impressionable afterwards that it becomes blind to any new and more healthier information that can change your life in so many positive ways.
Once you can learn how to be mindful and you practice feeling calmer and more relaxed. You will start to see beyond the barriers, limitations and restrictions of your negative beliefs and conditioning.
By starting to reframe your perspectives, you can begin to see a better world and a better life full of limitless possibilities and exciting new opportunities, that are awaiting you.
Instead of focusing on how bad things are, instead of focusing on your negative past, instead of focusing on what you think you can't have, instead of focusing on the worse case scenario or do or instead focusing on all your perceived weakness.
Start to focus on what could be, focus on your strengths, focus on things going well and focus on all the good things that you could achieve or what you can have, do or become.
Because it is possible to overcome and let go of your negative past so you can rise up and conquer your fear, insecurities and life itself.
When things are not working out then maybe it is time to change your attitude, change your perceptions and even think about start reinventing yourself.
Change the "I can't attitude" to a "I can attitude or I can learn attitude".
Because you are here for a purpose and you're here to experience a life of fun, joy and a satisfactory, productive and fulfilling life.
Use your past hurt to propel you, motivate and pull you in the direction you want to go so you can unleash your true greatness and you can go on to achieve great things and drive you to becoming the very best version of yourself.
Because life gets better when you decide to to reframe and give your suffering new meaning and you decide to give your life new meaning which will allow you to find, follow and go and and fulfill your true passions, goals and life purpose.
Are you hiding the real beautiful and authentic you?
No matter the amount of make up which is applied, no matter the amount of money spent on clothing and cosmetics.
It is all simply a mask, a mask and an act to try, but ultimately fail to convince yourself you are good enough.
Now ask yourself has it all worked? Is all the endless, relentless time and effort you spend to look good. Has any of it really changed the way you feel about yourself on the inside?
Now sure your partner and friends will tell you how good you look, but do you really believe them?
I imagine not, because ultimately people can endlessly praise you for how you look, but every-time you see your reflection in a mirror you see another fault, some more imperfection that you probably blow it totally out of proportion.
Whether you feel your overweight, unattractive or your teeth need work. Or maybe now you feel that it’s the right time to go ahead and have that facelift at the age of 24 and some woman do.
The point is your always going to bring yourself down, regardless of what you buy or do to yourself because here comes the important bit.
You spend so much time, hours I imagine working on the outside each day. When all it takes to get over all your insecurities is a few minutes work a day on the inside.
You solve this major life, never ending self torture on the inside, not the out.
That’s it, that’s all it takes a bit of work internally.
Then you can actually spend your days feeling good about yourself and who you are.
Leaving you emotional free to spend your precious time doing the things you really want to do. Instead of spending your days chasing this “perfection” this “fantasy” which simply is not worth all the emotional pain you're putting yourself through.
None of this has ever really been about how you look. It’s a battle, a lifelong battle with yourself for acceptance, acceptance of yourself.
You were more than likely brought up as a child with this fantasy that’s been sold through the likes of women’s magazines, and celebrities on the TV.
Most of which are heavily airbrushed etc to look “perfect” in these pictures or they have their real identity hidden by a ton of makeup.
Have you seen some of them naturally without all the makeup? Plenty examples online. (It may surprise you, some are even unrecognisable)
The belief that you have to “look” and “act” a certain way. That you have to look good, just to be accepted in society is what fuels those feelings of insecurity.
The only opinion that really matters in life, is the one that you hold of yourself.
Heck, you go through life dressed as a clown (not that there’s anything wrong with clowns of course) people can look, stare and even laugh.
But if your secure on the inside then you won’t care at all, of what they think of you.
No I’m by no means saying you don’t have to make any effort at all. But it’s when it becomes a problem so deep that your spending thousands, and pretty much committing your whole day just to “looking good.”
I mean do you really want to spend half your day getting ready?
Effectively putting off so many things off just to prepare yourself for going out? Think of all the other actually enjoyable things you could be doing!
Unless you want to be a glamor model or cheerleader.
Your looks can not prevent you from being very successful or achieving great accomplishments, neither can they stop you from being happy or going on to live a fantastic, wonderful and fulfilling life.
In most cases, creativity, talents and skills will bring you success. Therefore it would be much more beneficial for you to work on, unleashing your creativity and developing your limitless skills and potential.
Even perhaps if it’s just a quick appointment to the doctors. Some woman, will go through this whole “red carpet” process, just because of their insecurities of stepping out the front door and not looking their absolute best.
Just stop for a moment and Imagine how good that would feel for a moment, to step outside, and just straight up not give a damn what people think.
To feel good on the inside, and to not have to hide your insecurities behind this mask. What a massive stress weight of your shoulders that would be?
You’d be happier for it, and I dare say healthier and go on to be more successful.
There’s only that one stumbling block in all of this though, and that of course is you.
But it’s a stumbling block that can be broken through and the first step is to totally and unconditionally accept yourself as you are.
Whatever is bothering you, whatever is making you feel bad, whatever is causing you pain or whatever has happened to you in the past.
You have to let it go now, just accept it and let it go.
By all means, workout, buy nice clothes, get your hair done and apply a bit of makeup.
But you should only do that, once you truly accept yourself for who you are. Because external decorations are not the solution, because the solution can only be found from within.